Good afternoon my friends! I hope to find everything going well for everyone. Today I was once again told how I should do video of my adventures and how hard it is to be a mom whom does her best but struggles still. I have often been told how they/people would pay to watch my family throughout their daily lives as we must be very entertaining to them. It’s good because I do try to hold all the problems that are happening or my kids misbehaving badly as lightly or with a grain of sugar/salt and keep things light and just make the most out of the days. I guess I too see it as entertainment just so I don’t lose my mind with all the stressful stuff that happens to us. My kids love to watch other families that they can’t possible relate to as they are very structured and have nanny’s and lots of family help and bunches of money to enjoy life without worry so maybe there is many families like mine that would much rather their kids see reality and something somewhat similar to the actual lives they are living. Ya know some of these YouTube families put ideas in kids of regular families that are struggling or living paycheck to paycheck and causing kids to be confused as to why they can’t have the same lives in big homes and nice cars and even have large family involvement or what have you. It’s really difficult for the younger age kids to get that’s not OUR reality and those people have become something greater and make a lot of money to have those things and pay for those things too. So maybe it’s something to consider someday. I guess having to create the page and all that entails will take my focus from the kids so I will have to wait until at least September to get started. But maybe down the line I can even get somewhere with vlogging and hire someone to do the videos and editing like those families have their own offices and businesses relating to their family vlogs and they most likely started out small too and just grew into a bigger lifestyle. I don’t want to have any kind of huge lifestyle but it would be great to have a home I own and a dependable vehicle for my kids. Well we shall see. If anyone has any advice please feel free to comment and offer your ideas. Thanks again for reading my blog posts. Soon enough I shall have more time to be more consistent in my blog posts and maybe even start making them even better. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
Hello everyone. I wanted to make a post on the progress of my umbilical hernia surgery but things went way sideways for me as usual. I just can’t catch a break. My surgeon was going to fix my tummy muscles since having children has spread them apart and makes me have a belly no matter what I do and fix my umbilical hernia too so that when I work out I don’t land in the er having severe pain because the fat has gone through my hernia causing me pain. Anyways as he opened me up he saw that my hernia was way larger than anticipated and he also found a second smaller hernia that he just sewed together and then he put the mesh in and it took much longer than expected so he couldn’t do my belly muscles at this time. He did make it clear that in about a year he would be willing to do the muscle surgery if I can not repair it with exercise. I pray exercise gives me what I’m looking for because this surgery is unbelievable with the pain for the first four to five days. It hurts to talk breathe and move in any way. Hurts to cough sneeze or potty. I’m much better now but my body is having an allergic reaction to the glue he used to see me back together so now my tummy is enflamed red itchy and just so sore. I’m having pains in my appendix area and went to see the surgeon today and my PCP and was given steroids by my PCP but the surgeon said not to take them to take Benadryl instead. What a mess. I’m just suffering so much. He says because he had to see some of my muscles together that might be the pains I’m having by my appendix so we will wait till Friday and see what the pains are about. Let’s pray it’s not my appendix and they burst or something crazy. I had three appointments today back to back so I’m really exhausted and having the kids who don’t acknowledge that I’m not doing so well isn’t helpful either. But for now I’m going to bed on my Benadryl and pray that the healing happens faster and properly. I’m just tired and ready to give up all together. I have fought so hard to just get a home and some stability for my kids and all these things keep happening to me and I’m just burnt out. Pray for me please I really need some positivity and good vibes sent my way. Thank you all for reading about me. I greatly appreciate your interest and prayers and concerns. Have a great night all!
Well needless to say another complication from surgery has come to light. So when I woke from surgery my mouth hurt like where your wisdom teeth would come in. I thought maybe the tube had prongs to hold it still and the anesthesia people just had placed one of the prongs on the wrong area and it would go away. Well it didn’t and I ended up seeing my dentist because I had no clue why my jaw was killing me so badly and I thought maybe an abscess. I see him and he tells me that it’s from surgery that when they put the tube in my throat they chipped my bone causing this pain and now I have to see an ENT or oral surgeon whomever can get it taken care of. It’s called something specific I just can’t think of it right now. Anyways I’m suffering tremendous jaw pain and taking Motrin around the clock as every five hours it’s work off and I have to bare to deal with the extra hour to take it again. It’s unreal. I’m seeing the ENT in the morning after weeks and weeks one this I can’t wait for them to fix it. I shall update anything relating to my surgery on this post page. Please send positive vibes and prayers my way. I truly can’t stand the pain anymore and I may even have strep and the flu on top of it all as my youngest was just swabbed positive for it yesterday. Ugh! Thanks for taking time to read my thoughts. Have a Blessed day everyone!
Good morning everyone. Hope I find you doing well. How was your Easter and or Spring Break? Mine ugh I can’t even begin to describe how sick we all were and still are to some extent. Let me begin with the fact that my kids had Spring Break from school from March 27th to April 1st returning the 2nd or they should have. This is how our break went. Starting with having two birthdays as my son turned nine on the 21st and my daughter turned 5 on the 29th. So there was two Birthdays and my 6 year old daughter had to go to the ENT and the Dental hygienist the day before my daughter’s birthday and was the second day they were off of school. After going to these appointments at the hospital we had stopped to see my mother as she lives down that way and we haven’t seen her in quite some time. It happened to be way colder that day than we thought and due to such a long day with the appointments we had to head home earlier than planned so it was short with her. We finally get home and about five pm it began as my kids started getting fevers one after another. Mind you my youngest was already presenting with some cold symptoms about two days prior. I gave fever reduction meds and fed them what they were willing to eat and sent them all to bed. Next day was my daughter’s birthday so we celebrated the best of our ability as everyone was coming down with sickness at that time. As the day continued we were all just trying to rest as everyone was so sick and the fevers make us all sleepy. Then it was Easter and after the kids woke to find the bunny had come in and left them each a basket I had began cooking Easter supper. The kids just laid around unwell all day and we had supper together and I spoke of Jesus Christ a bit and watched the life of Moses. I am not a huge fan of Easter because of the pain I feel when I think of those times back then and how people treated one another and what they did to Jesus and how all who loved him including his Mother Mary had to suffer in watching what was done to him. I often get upset and cry so I try to keep it minimal for my kids not to see me hurting in that way as they get very upset to see mommy hurting. Needless to say I made a beautiful ham and we ate and we went to bed early because again we were all so sick. My oldest son (9) was absolutely burning up on one of my many trips in the and throughout the night around three am I checked his temp and it was reading 106 but he was wrapped in blankets because he had chills from his temp and so I pulled him out of his bed brought him to the bathroom shower put him in an Luke warm shower while giving him fever reduction meds and I got wet cool rags ready for when he got out of the shower. When he was out his temp dropped to 103.8 and he was complaining about chills so I put him on the couch and cooled him with damp cloths until his meds started to work. About 1.45 min I sent him back to bed. The next day my daughter (6) began a high fever. I had it at that point and I took three of them to the dr for swabs and low and behold they have the Flu B and Human Meta Pneumonia, Rhinovirus and my daughter (6) also was diagnosed with strep. They were so sick. The next day my youngest (2) was showing signs of high temps but I didn’t want to expose him to more germs and take him to be swabbed too because I already knew what his siblings had. So we waited and tried to rest at home and treat the symptoms per Doctors orders. At this point they have or were supposed to have returned to school but they still had fevers. The dr said the fevers can last from 5-7 days. Ugh. Now three days into not returning to school my son (2) and daughter (5) started not wanting to eat. I returned to the dr and they both were tested and tested positive for strep. A few more days later they are all still home from school and the weeks about over and they have been to the dr about twice per kids or say group of sickest kids at that time. I was at the dr about six times in total with this illness spreading through my home. My kids all had severe leg pains behind the knees and calves etc. to the point they could or didn’t want to walk stand or move. I believe this was a part of the flu. At this point we are around the 6/7th and they are still not 100% yet. My son (9) had to be swabbed and he was positive for strep too and now all my kids have tested positive for strep throat and on antibiotics at this point. So now the day of the eclipse and they have half a day today and I just can’t send them as it’s the first day of no fever without meds. We at this point it’s in about 20 days of no school between spring break and these viruses that has made them miss so many days. They have all gotten better but not 100% and my youngest is still very sick as I write. So they returned to school on the 9th (2 days in now) and it shows how they aren’t doing to great still and they have been a bit slow returning to the grind of school and life in general. So here it is I have been out of commission caring for my children even though I’m not doing so hot myself but I have no one to help me and they only have me 100% so I give my all to them no matter how awful I feel I am who they have to help them through their sickness so I pushing ailments aside and care for them first and foremost. I apologize for the long sort of diary post but i want to remember that these viruses kicked our butts. Between fevers and strep and leg or body aches and the amount of boogers and tissues and fever reducing meds we used has been intense. I don’t wish this on anyone. The list of what they had/have is Flu B, Adenovirus, Strep Throat, Human Meta-Pneumonia, and Rhinovirus. My youngest also stared to get an ear infection too. It’s been so hard on us all them the most because the sickness was/is a lot to overcome and lasted a long time. May you all stay healthy and well. I pray that the germs are gone for the rest of the season and the summer. Stay safe everyone. Thanks for reading my posts. You are not alone by no means. Prayers for all!
Before photo of Easter ham. I just can’t begin to express how sick my kiddos were feeling. My poor babies. 🥹After photo of Easter Ham My baby doing his breathing treatment. 🫶🏼Mommy’s boy is so yucky feeling with these viruses. Poor baby, I love them so much!
I’m just curious if anyone knows what I can actually do about some issues I am having in my home with ants and squirrels that I have brought to my LL attention before and was told she can not deal with the squirrels in the roof of my balcony because the companies will try to get rid of them humanely and take too long and now they fight relentlessly and are defecating or urinating and pooping in the roof closest to the house wall where I sleep. I’m worried about getting sick about will seep into the walls as it’s already rusty where they are going potty. Then the ants she told me to foam the holes as that’s what they do so I caulked what I could and bought traps and bait. But now I think I’m not supposed to be required to do this stuff because it’s not my home or I don’t own it and thought this is what my rents so high for because anything that happens is her responsibility? I don’t have money or time to be caulking and foaming the entire house looking for cracks and holes and buying any traps and bait either. But if I am a day late on my rent each day is a $20 charge extra. I’m just stressed and confused as to why I’m being told to do this stuff that I feel is not my job. Idk what do or can I actually do? let me add that even with 4 kids I’m very clean and constantly cleaning up after them. I don’t really sit down from day 6am to about 9-10pm. So they aren’t here because it’s a dirty home by no means. I have no clue what to do and idk if my neighbors house is dirty or the ants are just looking for a warm place to nest? If you have any advice please comment and let me known your thoughts. Thanks in advance. I don’t really have anyone to talk to or ask so I’m asking online. Silly but I don’t have anyone else to turn to.
Just unsure what to do Ants on kitchen wallSquirrel urineAnts all over my bathroom shower base and walls.
Good afternoon everyone. I just wanted to share my day with you all and all the photos I took today. So, todays my sons 9th birthday and in the position I’m in I can’t do much for him but I promised him a Minecraft cake because I couldn’t get him a Fortnite cake. He loves Fortnite . Anyways I ordered a cake for him and his sister whose birthday is next week then it’s Easter and then they go on spring break and obviously with all that’s happened to my van and having no reliable vehicle and struggling to pay my rent I really wanted them to at least have a nice cake. I felt that wasn’t much to want for their special days. I can’t offer them much at this time but the CAKE was important. Anyways, I am supposed to pick up the cake at SAMS at 10am and I was in the parking lot on the phone with my sons counselor and went in about 11am and looked for this $10 lemon front door mat for my sister which they were out of and then went to get the cake I ordered days ago. I ask for it and gave my name to the the employee who looks all over and can’t find my cake. I said where’s the form that the employee filled out for me? They didn’t have that. So then I said, oh my, please look for my daughter’s form for her LOL cake (5” cake with 8 cupcakes around same as my sons) that I’m also supposed to pick up in her 5th birthday on the 29th and she says, before I do that please let me take the Minecraft cake order and I will have her make it now. I was happy about that! But I had to get my son from school in about 45 min from that time ( I was behind schedule). So she takes the order and I had asked for it to be made with whipped cream icing on the cupcakes and for the cupcakes to be half chocolate and half vanilla cupcakes as shown on pics. Well they gave me all vanilla and no chocolate ones and I didn’t say anything about that yet. This employee walks away after telling me that a supervisor is coming to talk to me. So then an employee comes out and asks me if she could help me so I asked them to look for my daughter’s order form so I don’t suffer this a second time and she couldn’t find that order either. I pointed to the girl in the back making the cakes and said she is the one who took both orders maybe ask her if she recalls where she put the orders. She ignored me. The employee proceeds to tell me to make another order for the LOL cake and fill out my information and the date. I initially said I would get it the morning of her birthday but changed it to the day before just incase this happens again. She then says sorry this happened and walked away. So I’m standing there waiting for this supervisor and a different girl comes over and asks if she can assist me and I said no I’m waiting for the supervisor. She said she is the one who took my daughter’s second order. I was like she didn’t introduce herself as such so how would I know that? She asked if I want to speak to her I said yes. Now waiting longer while my 2 year old is watching his show a woman named “Marcy” I believe comes over dressed in plain clothes and I said I was waiting for the supervisor to explain the whole incident and she says well I’m the manager real short with me. I then explained everything to her and said how I’m going my best to maintain my composure as I have my 2 year old and have to go get the birthday boy in ten minutes so I don’t want to be angry and I feel like breaking down in tears but that will upset my son so I’m trying not to. She didn’t really address the situation so I asked her to get the second order form that I just filled out for the Minecraft cake for my son and I took a pic of it and showed her that they again made a mistake and gave me all vanilla cupcakes. She was like “what you want a mix” I said yes it’s on the form. So she hands the cake to the staff to give me the chocolate cupcakes and they didn’t even separate them one vanilla one chocolate as shown in the picture of the order book. They hurry and shove it together and she says to the staff you didn’t even put a sticker on it. Proceeding to say it’s fine I will walk her out you can have the cake free of charge. Ok great but why is she being so rude to me I didn’t even raise my voice. Other than to point out the girl who took the order. At this point I just have to go and get my son and get out of that store before I lose it and bawl because nothing ever just goes right for me. We ultimately set up and celebrate and as we eat the cake/cupcakes there was what looked like a piece of hair but it’s not it’s like a piece of plastic in the icing of the cupcakes. I saved it too incase they think I’m lying. I think maybe a piece of a net or something bc it’s hard like a whisker. It’s ridiculous. I just can’t believe it because I’m such a HUGE supporter of Sams I even joke with the staff in the clothing section saying my kids and I should be Sams spokes family we wear mostly Sams clothing and use almost everything from there and live their clothes, decor, furniture , baby stuff, food, and more. That’s how much I/we love SAMS CLUB. I am truly disappointed in their bakery and how I was brushed off like it wasn’t even a big deal both orders were lost and they continued to make a mess of my order. It’s so hard for me always and I’m a good person. I am. I don’t hurt peoples feeling or talk mean or cruel and always appreciate and apologize for anything I feel I did or accepted from anyone. Why is it so hard to just have people be nice to one another. I’m extra emotional when it comes to my kids because I want so much to give them a stable home and a happy loving life and everything goes wrong always. I will post pics of the forms and cake from the book and the first cake I got then the second when they have me the chocolate cupcakes. What do you think about this situation? Please comment if you read this and your thoughts on this situation. Please. Thank you. Everyone please have a wonderful weekend and enjoy every moment with your loved ones as that’s the biggest and best part of my days and that’s what I will take with me when I go. All my memories of my babies and my family and friends (I don’t really have any friends but those I had younger). Stay safe everyone and Happy Easter!!
The second order the employee wrote down. This is the cake picture in The book. Here’s my gracious son and the 3 pair of shorts he got from SAMS in the gifts and a toothbrush. What matters most is that he was happy and excited he’s NINE! I love him so much!This is the first cake she gave me without chocolate cupcakes inside. This is how messy and sloppy she did the grass. Here is a pic I took of the messy gras but now I’m seeing that white hairlike thing. OmG I pulled this out of the cupcake. Yuck! Here’s where I took it from. But I now see you can clearly see it in the pic with the grass.
Good morning everyone. I am just going to dive straight into it. So yesterday I had taken my youngest for a well visit and he had to get vaccinated and he was injected once in each leg. As the RN was getting ready for his shots she had left the shots and meds in the room as she left the room twice. Mind you I’m alone with my 2yr old and my 6yr old. Obviously my 6 yr old is trying to touch the tray. She comes back in the first time sees my child touching this tray and moves it further onto the desk and then proceeds to leave the room again and tells out to another nurse to close out her window on the computer. She comes back in for the second time and writes down the information I request for each vaccine. Lot number brand and manufacturers info. She is now on the computer and loads these needles with the vaccine. The shots look pretty large to me but who am I because I’m not the nurse so I take into account she’s the professional and knows what she’s doing. I then help her getting my son laid down as she wipes him with the alcohol and then she gives him the first shot he gets upset but not too bad he kind of like what, why? Anyways then the second shot goes into his left leg and it looks full to me or too much let’s say and she sticks the needle in to the butt of the syringe so the entire 1”&1/2 in his little leg and the needle like bent or leaned sort of. Looked like it bent when it reached the bottom of the syringe. He immediately starts to get super upset. I said wow that looked painful and why the needle bent or looked like it bent. I lift him up holing him consoling him in my arms still speaking to the needle bending. She responded with awe he’s so cute (he was trying hard to compose himself as he wasn’t flipping out as he should be) anyways she then left the room. The feeling of being defeated by the medical profession was upon me. I don’t like to tell people negativity about how they do their job or profession but as a mom I felt in my gut that she messed this up in multiple ways. The amount of meds and the depth the needle went into him seemed way too far. I messaged the pediatrician inmost immediately upon returning home as my son now walks holding that leg and I messaged her again this morning saying how he has a fever (supposedly normal after vaccines) but more importantly he throwing up and he woke in the night complaining about his leg and now this morning he’s throwing up and complaining of his leg and has this fever. There’s no reverse for vaccines or anything that’s injected into a person so I don’t expect much of a response from his doctor but I feel it should be a given that anyone getting an injection should be shown the proper dose and the syringe to rest assured that the proper dose is inside the syringe. Am I wrong? Why are we all supposed to inexplicably supposed to just trust doctors and nurses like they don’t make mistakes or cause any harm? They are human too and they too make mistakes. I’m just so upset about my boy being sick and in pain and unwell. Idk what can I do about this and what can I do next time. Do I ask to see the dosing and the amount placed into the syringe and that they have to use a smaller needle this way even if it’s placed in the muscle there’s no chance that the needle is too long and make its way all the way to the bone if put in all the way like my sons nurse did to him. I am just so worried and upset. Thanks for listening/reading my daily experiences. Hope I found you well and that this post encourages other parents to always speak up and ask to see the dose ask if you want a smaller needle used and always trust your gut.
I’m such an emotionally connected person. I feel so connected to others and that has me on edge so much. I feel like I have been crying over everything lately. I have been able to ask for permission to leave items at my childhood best friend’s place of rest. I am there so much but didn’t want to be disrespectful and leave things without asking first. Needless to say I was told it’s okay to leave items and I have been as I miss my friend and more than usual lately. Him and his brothers were like our little street family. Growing up at that time we would leave our house after school and have to be home when the street lights came on as that was our rule other than that we didn’t have boundaries and stuff so we often were on that Street where most of the boys lived. Or the ones we liked. Anyway my friend has been gone for 22 years now and it’s still so raw like I have never gotten closure and haven’t been able to heal fully from his passing. He had joined the Air Force and left this state to begin his new life and was in an unfortunate accident and was taken away from this world so incredibly young. He was 20. I just can’t believe he is gone just gone. Feel broken like there is so much he had to offer this world and so many things that have been left unsaid. He was my friend and he truly meant so much more to me and he definitely felt that way too. We were just in different paths at that time and we knew that. I can recall so many memories of him and his smile his laugh his walk even how he would sit and watch us all and laugh and smile with us. I remember things I probably didn’t even think that much about, back then, as I was so young and him too. So much to process. I feel like he is a part of my soul family and look forward to meeting him and seeing him and laughing and talking to him again one day. I have been driving and I think about a question and the next song that plays sorta relates to my question and I wonder if that’s some kind of connection or strange thing I can’t understand right now. I’m not sure. But I do know that I feel connected to him and wish he would come to me in a dream or some that I can see him and talk about and remember the dream the next day. I will continue to spend time and visit him and sit with him at his resting place and give him some company and talk about stuff that happens but somehow I have to know why my feelings are so strong and what they are or mean. I feel like I’m the one person besides his mom that spends time with him at his resting place and I don’t know why because he truly is/was an incredible person and an amazing friend and more.
Good morning. I love the Holidays and the time I get with my kids even though they make me bananas daily. I look forward to the Spring Break and pray the weather is super nice. I have a lot of work ahead of myself as there is another sale coming and I really need a side hustle to pay my rent. I just don’t make enough money and now that my van is broken and remains broken because I don’t have the money to fix it I really need an income for my kids. Life is just so hard on me. Some days are enlightening because I just love my kids faces and they bring my heart so much love and bliss but other days I just feel like I’m failing them because I can’t do much more than I am already trying to do. I’m always getting scam calls and emails and I believe in these people but they are just lying to me and I have to learn how to weed out the bad and only let in the honest and true. Anyways here’s hoping I can manage Easter dinner and maybe get some stiff sold to make money to pay my rent and fix my van. I know that’s reaching but here’s hoping. I’ll leave you with a little bit of joy as my Girls saw the Easter bunny at school and they were able to get beautiful matching dresses cheap and they just look so happy and adorable so I hope their faces bring you happiness as they do me. Kids are so innocent and perfect I wish I could feel like a kid again. Have a beautiful blessed day everyone!
Everybody good morning. I hope to find everyone well. I am on my way to do a pop-up kids consignment. I have washed cleaned and hung and tagged all of my kids stuff that doesn’t fit or they never wore and I am going to try to make some extra money to pay my rent, because Lord knows I struggle paying my rent so much, it would be so much cheaper for me to move into a home that I owned and have $600 mortgage rather than pay double that for House) that’s not even mine. With that being said I am very excited and hope that I sell a lot of my items. I certainly don’t price high. I think the highest priced clothing item is $10 And the highest priced equipment like baby swings stuff like that is $30 so I don’t think I have anything with me today that’s over $30 so I’m hoping that I make some decent money I really could use it my girls want to do cheerleading that cost money my son wants to play baseball that cost money my van is broken and I have to drive my kids to these extracurricular activities and that is just not easy to do and because I don’t have any friends I can’t ask anyone to take us or take my kids so that doesn’t help but hopefully this goes well for me. Please say a little prayer and thanks in advance for reading my post. Hope you all have a wonderful day, stay safe and healthy.
Good morning. So I have been thinking a lot about the cards I have been felt and I am so grateful even with all the awful turns and bad things that just keep happening to me. Because I’m grateful for my children and having each day with them even though it is a lot on me day after day I am incredibly grateful to have them as they are my lifelong dream come true. I have wanted children of my very own since I can even remember or knew where babies came from haha. Lately I have been thinking a lot about those who were taken away from us too soon. Or those that I knew because there’s been so many people in the world taken before their time. I’m so sad to think about those who are no longer with us. My Dad is the first one I think of and knowing how my sister and I call ourselves orphans because we may have family but we don’t have the kind of family like we would like. People who have a very involved and a family whom gets together on holidays and spends time together just because often complain how they hate their family being there or meddling in their lives but they are super lucky to have that village. That’s what I strive for my kids to have with me. An open door policy knowing they can come home at any time they want and I will always go through it with them and be here for them no matter what. Anyways I often think how differently my life would have turned out had my father not died when I was a toddler. I also think of friends that have been taken so incredibly young. When I was in middle school a friend had an awful car accident that took her life and I always ask why? She was so perfect. She drank sure but she didn’t curse or smoke or do anything wrong ever and she had great grades and was beautiful and just an incredible person. She had a great family and support system and when I found out she was taken it was such a shock because she’s such an incredible person. Then my cousin who is/was also an incredible person and young man who just had a child with his newly married wife. He also was taken was too soon. Just had his wedding and a new baby I just don’t understand why. Then there’s my best friend who I grew up with and learned a LOT about life with and ran the streets with (back then it was safer and we all did that) and had so many memories together. Needless to say he had left here to start a new chapter in his life joined the service and was such an impressionable young man. He was doing big things. He had such a beautiful heart and even saying that seems like an understatement as he was just an incredible person and so kind and thoughtful and giving and more. He was TWENTY when he was taken. At that time I was in a relationship with my ex and he was very controlling and I was not able to attend my friends funeral and that still sits poorly with me. But that was what I was dealing with at that time but I wanted so much to have some closure and to say goodbye for now to my friend. I have often thought about him and the weeks leading up to his passing and hoping that he was happy and that he felt love and all the joy with those around him. It truly breaks my heart because he was destined for wonderful things. He truly was. His brother was taken years later and he also has/had children whom were so young and that’s so hard because I can only imagine they may think about the same things as my sister and I, wondering if their lives would have been different and how it would have been different. There’s also a woman whom I was friends with growing up whom I can recall her standing up for me (not many people stand up for me) in moments of silly stuff and serious stuff whom was taken away way too soon. I ache wondering if they were scared or if they felt the love they had by those around them or the love that others have for them. I haven’t been sleeping well thinking of them all. I am so sorry to those whom have lost someone they love or were close to. I am trying to find the right comforting words and the one thing that keeps coming to my mind is that I try to find peace in knowing that they are all in a loving place and thinking they could potentially have the ability to watch us all here and our struggles and so on but if anything they all know they have been loved here and one day we shall all meet again. There’s so many wonderful people in the world and they have been taken ahead of their time. I truly feel blessed to have each day and I feel so much pain knowing that some had that taken from them way too soon. I am so sorry if this bring up any pain for anyone else I just wanted to share my personal experiences as I suffer with so many questions and I don’t have the answers or know how to find them. I’m just going to continue to pray for those we lost and always remember that I am blessed to have the time I have with my kids and watching them grow up and learn and laugh and all the beautiful things that make up this thing called LIFE.
