Creating a Vlog?

Good afternoon my friends! I hope to find everything going well for everyone. Today I was once again told how I should do video of my adventures and how hard it is to be a mom whom does her best but struggles still. I have often been told how they/people would pay to watch my family throughout their daily lives as we must be very entertaining to them. It’s good because I do try to hold all the problems that are happening or my kids misbehaving badly as lightly or with a grain of sugar/salt and keep things light and just make the most out of the days. I guess I too see it as entertainment just so I don’t lose my mind with all the stressful stuff that happens to us. My kids love to watch other families that they can’t possible relate to as they are very structured and have nanny’s and lots of family help and bunches of money to enjoy life without worry so maybe there is many families like mine that would much rather their kids see reality and something somewhat similar to the actual lives they are living. Ya know some of these YouTube families put ideas in kids of regular families that are struggling or living paycheck to paycheck and causing kids to be confused as to why they can’t have the same lives in big homes and nice cars and even have large family involvement or what have you. It’s really difficult for the younger age kids to get that’s not OUR reality and those people have become something greater and make a lot of money to have those things and pay for those things too. So maybe it’s something to consider someday. I guess having to create the page and all that entails will take my focus from the kids so I will have to wait until at least September to get started. But maybe down the line I can even get somewhere with vlogging and hire someone to do the videos and editing like those families have their own offices and businesses relating to their family vlogs and they most likely started out small too and just grew into a bigger lifestyle. I don’t want to have any kind of huge lifestyle but it would be great to have a home I own and a dependable vehicle for my kids. Well we shall see. If anyone has any advice please feel free to comment and offer your ideas. Thanks again for reading my blog posts. Soon enough I shall have more time to be more consistent in my blog posts and maybe even start making them even better. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Snoozing 💤

Easter was no Vacation

Good morning everyone. Hope I find you doing well. How was your Easter and or Spring Break? Mine ugh I can’t even begin to describe how sick we all were and still are to some extent. Let me begin with the fact that my kids had Spring Break from school from March 27th to April 1st returning the 2nd or they should have. This is how our break went. Starting with having two birthdays as my son turned nine on the 21st and my daughter turned 5 on the 29th. So there was two Birthdays and my 6 year old daughter had to go to the ENT and the Dental hygienist the day before my daughter’s birthday and was the second day they were off of school. After going to these appointments at the hospital we had stopped to see my mother as she lives down that way and we haven’t seen her in quite some time. It happened to be way colder that day than we thought and due to such a long day with the appointments we had to head home earlier than planned so it was short with her. We finally get home and about five pm it began as my kids started getting fevers one after another. Mind you my youngest was already presenting with some cold symptoms about two days prior. I gave fever reduction meds and fed them what they were willing to eat and sent them all to bed. Next day was my daughter’s birthday so we celebrated the best of our ability as everyone was coming down with sickness at that time. As the day continued we were all just trying to rest as everyone was so sick and the fevers make us all sleepy. Then it was Easter and after the kids woke to find the bunny had come in and left them each a basket I had began cooking Easter supper. The kids just laid around unwell all day and we had supper together and I spoke of Jesus Christ a bit and watched the life of Moses. I am not a huge fan of Easter because of the pain I feel when I think of those times back then and how people treated one another and what they did to Jesus and how all who loved him including his Mother Mary had to suffer in watching what was done to him. I often get upset and cry so I try to keep it minimal for my kids not to see me hurting in that way as they get very upset to see mommy hurting. Needless to say I made a beautiful ham and we ate and we went to bed early because again we were all so sick. My oldest son (9) was absolutely burning up on one of my many trips in the and throughout the night around three am I checked his temp and it was reading 106 but he was wrapped in blankets because he had chills from his temp and so I pulled him out of his bed brought him to the bathroom shower put him in an Luke warm shower while giving him fever reduction meds and I got wet cool rags ready for when he got out of the shower. When he was out his temp dropped to 103.8 and he was complaining about chills so I put him on the couch and cooled him with damp cloths until his meds started to work. About 1.45 min I sent him back to bed. The next day my daughter (6) began a high fever. I had it at that point and I took three of them to the dr for swabs and low and behold they have the Flu B and Human Meta Pneumonia, Rhinovirus and my daughter (6) also was diagnosed with strep. They were so sick. The next day my youngest (2) was showing signs of high temps but I didn’t want to expose him to more germs and take him to be swabbed too because I already knew what his siblings had. So we waited and tried to rest at home and treat the symptoms per Doctors orders. At this point they have or were supposed to have returned to school but they still had fevers. The dr said the fevers can last from 5-7 days. Ugh. Now three days into not returning to school my son (2) and daughter (5) started not wanting to eat. I returned to the dr and they both were tested and tested positive for strep. A few more days later they are all still home from school and the weeks about over and they have been to the dr about twice per kids or say group of sickest kids at that time. I was at the dr about six times in total with this illness spreading through my home. My kids all had severe leg pains behind the knees and calves etc. to the point they could or didn’t want to walk stand or move. I believe this was a part of the flu. At this point we are around the 6/7th and they are still not 100% yet. My son (9) had to be swabbed and he was positive for strep too and now all my kids have tested positive for strep throat and on antibiotics at this point. So now the day of the eclipse and they have half a day today and I just can’t send them as it’s the first day of no fever without meds. We at this point it’s in about 20 days of no school between spring break and these viruses that has made them miss so many days. They have all gotten better but not 100% and my youngest is still very sick as I write. So they returned to school on the 9th (2 days in now) and it shows how they aren’t doing to great still and they have been a bit slow returning to the grind of school and life in general. So here it is I have been out of commission caring for my children even though I’m not doing so hot myself but I have no one to help me and they only have me 100% so I give my all to them no matter how awful I feel I am who they have to help them through their sickness so I pushing ailments aside and care for them first and foremost. I apologize for the long sort of diary post but i want to remember that these viruses kicked our butts. Between fevers and strep and leg or body aches and the amount of boogers and tissues and fever reducing meds we used has been intense. I don’t wish this on anyone. The list of what they had/have is Flu B, Adenovirus, Strep Throat, Human Meta-Pneumonia, and Rhinovirus. My youngest also stared to get an ear infection too. It’s been so hard on us all them the most because the sickness was/is a lot to overcome and lasted a long time. May you all stay healthy and well. I pray that the germs are gone for the rest of the season and the summer. Stay safe everyone. Thanks for reading my posts. You are not alone by no means. Prayers for all!

Before photo of Easter ham.
I just can’t begin to express how sick my kiddos were feeling. My poor babies. 🥹
After photo of Easter Ham
My baby doing his breathing treatment. 🫶🏼
Mommy’s boy is so yucky feeling with these viruses. Poor baby, I love them so much!

Landlord will not take care of problems what do I do?

I’m just curious if anyone knows what I can actually do about some issues I am having in my home with ants and squirrels that I have brought to my LL attention before and was told she can not deal with the squirrels in the roof of my balcony because the companies will try to get rid of them humanely and take too long and now they fight relentlessly and are defecating or urinating and pooping in the roof closest to the house wall where I sleep. I’m worried about getting sick about will seep into the walls as it’s already rusty where they are going potty. Then the ants she told me to foam the holes as that’s what they do so I caulked what I could and bought traps and bait. But now I think I’m not supposed to be required to do this stuff because it’s not my home or I don’t own it and thought this is what my rents so high for because anything that happens is her responsibility? I don’t have money or time to be caulking and foaming the entire house looking for cracks and holes and buying any traps and bait either. But if I am a day late on my rent each day is a $20 charge extra. I’m just stressed and confused as to why I’m being told to do this stuff that I feel is not my job. Idk what do or can I actually do? let me add that even with 4 kids I’m very clean and constantly cleaning up after them. I don’t really sit down from day 6am to about 9-10pm. So they aren’t here because it’s a dirty home by no means. I have no clue what to do and idk if my neighbors house is dirty or the ants are just looking for a warm place to nest? If you have any advice please comment and let me known your thoughts. Thanks in advance. I don’t really have anyone to talk to or ask so I’m asking online. Silly but I don’t have anyone else to turn to.

Just unsure what to do
Ants on kitchen wall
Squirrel urine
Ants all over my bathroom shower base and walls.

Daily experience

Hi again. So the reality of how and why so many things seem to happen to me. After having my van break I was just in a bad place emotionally and then it just seems to get even worse. What happens to me is hard to believe a lot of the time but yet here it is… The following day I am getting my eight year old son onto his van for school and as he drives off I decided to just stand on my porch for a few minutes before continuing to get the girls ready for school and here comes a car literally flying down the street. Right behind it comes another car flying down right behind it. The cars get to the corner at the bottom of the road and I hear a gunshot or what definitely sounded like a gunshot. At first I thought no… can’t be a gunshot it was a car backfire or something and in seconds after I hear a woman screaming Oh My God OhMy God Help Help I immediately called the police because clearly it was definitely a gunshot I heard and the call goes to answering system and then they answer. I explain what happened and they said they are aware and sending someone. Asked me questions I didn’t have the answers to and then the dispatcher says I don’t want to make you upset or frustrated and he hangs up on me. Here the police show up and that’s it. They were securing the scene for the ambulance to come through. Then the ambulance arrived and transported the victim to the ER and start taping off the street. I’m completely beside myself at this moment because all the kids are heading out the door for school and there’s a shooting!! I just cannot believe this! I return to getting my pre schoolers off to school to get them out of the house and away from here. This has certainly rocked me and I’m in fear for my kids and my own safety at this point. I leave take them to school and return with the baby and then an office walks up the street and is looking for homes with cameras on their houses. He sees my wireless and starts to say something about it and I told him it’s not charged so it’s not collecting anything because it’s not on. (I have to charge both of my wireless cameras on the front and back porch of the house). The officer says that a man has a gunshot to his leg and is being treated and no further information at this time. They had the street taped off until noon and this happened at 7:30am and then the news reports that there was an accidental shooting that occurred as someone had accidentally shot themselves in the leg. That the public is safe. That was obviously a LIE as to not send the public into a panic. I am also hearing that all the stores on the square in town are being robbed at night so I feel that this is only getting worse and worse. Eventually the great Country will be destroyed by all these crimes being committed and the tax payers will be paying much more to keep these people in jail. It’s such a shame. It still seems so unreal that this kind of stuff is happening here and that it’s even happening at all around here. Not sure what the rest of the situation is because it’s not being spoken of but it’s very scary and I just wish we could move away to a safer and better place. I just don’t know how or why I seem to have so many things happen and almost daily. I feel like I need an aura cleanse or some kind of positive energy intervention. It’s like my bloodline had done something in their past and that bad karma or whatever is affecting me and my family with all the negative things. I feel that any prayers or cleansing would be greatly appreciated if anyone would like to say a prayer for us. Anyways that’s the update on daily happenings. As far as my van goes it’s broken and likely for good. The timing belt/chain is most likely what’s wrong with it and it may have warped or damaged something that makes the motor run when it broke and it is leaking oil because the gaskets are blown or something. I’m just so disappointed that we finally get into a home and that is just so important for us and even struggling to pay my rent is not enough because now my van is out of commission and most likely for good. I just don’t know what to do. We could use some positive energy. Hope everyone is having a better day/week/month/year than I/we are. Stay safe everyone. I appreciate you taking the time to read my daily experiences.

Having Help

Hello again. I am just going to express some of my thoughts and feelings quick because I’m not sure many people understand why it’s so hard to be an adult and do what you have to do with kids and being a single parent. I tried to explain that many people whom have kids have family or friends they can trust and depend on to watch their children. Even if they only have one person that they can count on randomly watching their kids it’s better than no one and not at all. Just going to the store for a few items with the kids is such a hard time and stressful experience. When you hear the expression “It Takes a Village “ it is so true. One of the very reasons I wanted to have a big family is because this way my kids have each-other to help one another. I have one sister but because she lives so far away I can’t just have her sit with the kids while I run to the store or errands. Having all of them and say having to physically take everyone out to go into the pharmacy for three minutes is way too stressful and overwhelming. Or running into the grocery store for milk and bread turns into a whole other thing with kids wanting stuff I can’t afford or running around or fighting with each other or bumping into strangers because they are not paying attention. It’s just a lot. I hear some people complain that their mom or dad or family is to involved in their lives and they hate it I often say or think to myself you have no idea how lucky you are to have that. Think of how hard things would be if you didn’t have that. Most of the time their family that is in their business is only doing it because they care and want what’s best for them. I wish I had that. I wish I could do so many things that just seem way out of reach for me. I feel like by the time I can actually gain some ground in life I will be too old to actually enjoy anything. My credit score has dropped for unknown reasons (maybe because I paid the minimum payment for the last few months?) or because I have had to use them more than normal? Idk but I have to start looking for a new place soon because I can’t stay here much longer so when my lease is up I’m going to have to move out and pray we don’t end up on the street with the economy like it is and now housing being far few and in between because of all the immigration. I’m so worried about everything. I have been on the list for housing choice vouchers in a few different areas but not sure if I’m even going to get that before my lease is up. I could really use some prayers. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I’m sorry if my life often seems like a negative energy I wish it wasn’t that way too. Be safe and stay healthy!

One day at a time…

Hello there. I wanted to write an update sort of or just a little of what’s happening with me or what’s on my mind lately. I have been under the weather so to speak as my family has been sick since just before Christmas. It seems as though we are just getting virus after virus and they linger for a long time too. Anyways, I have been able to try to rest since I’m so sick and actually watch some television for once and as I watch these reality shows or my kids watch reality kids shows I see how discouraging and disconnected they all are to the real world. I certainly can’t relate to them and their lavish lifestyle and it’s so upsetting for my kids and unrealistic for them to think that’s how life is supposed to be. Every single show all of them live in these huge million dollar homes and have perfect cars and they almost all have zero family photos on their walls or anything that makes them seem real. I try to explain to my kids that they can’t just make a video and be like the shows they watch. Explaining that all those shows have people working for them editing and scripting their videos. They also have a crew following them around doing the recording that they are not walking around trying to record themselves. Of course I’m mom so they don’t believe me at all. I also watched some that just make me wonder if they even think about the money they are throwing out the door? I mean One Of their private jet trips could potentially buy a decent home or even a few decent homes for someone who doesn’t have the ability to buy their own home. I mean even one shopping trip could buy so many used vehicles for people that otherwise wouldn’t be able to have a vehicle for transportation to work or school. So many people struggle and to watch a lot of videos of people just spending needlessly is so disturbing. I wonder if any of them see a homeless person and offer them anything? I’m saying a meal or a coffee? Not necessarily a house or car but even a ten dollar bill or if they look down on them and assume they are bad people because of their situation? I don’t have the answer to that but I think if those who have the wealth looked down on those who don’t then one day they will have to answer to a higher power and in their next life maybe they wouldn’t be so wealthy and see how it truly feels to be judged and looked down on due to their circumstances. I mean I know they worked for their wealth or most of them did as some may have had it given to them by their parents or whatever. I just would like more options for my kids to see life differently and not set such high expectations. My six year old has been asking for about two years to go to Disney and I keep trying to explain that when she watches these stars go to Disney they have guides and people who plan their whole trip and they don’t have to worry about anything because they have plenty of money to have and buy whatever they want and stay at lavish hotels and go to spas and eat at fine restaurants and they truly enjoy their experiences having no limit on spending and a crew to make their plans perfect. They don’t go to Disney the same as we would go (if ever that was even possible) as they go there to truly enjoy their experience we would go and have to choose between one thing or another as we don’t have money to throw away like that. But she believes truly that Disney is magical and she would be treated like a Princess and that it would all be smooth and exciting the entire time. I just let her keep her fantasy and ultimately agree with her and say one day we will have to go there but I know that’s never going to happen. She doesn’t know that the reality is that I fought so hard to get my credit score high and that having all the bad stuff happen and now living in a place that I can’t afford has caused me to have to use my credit cards to buy food for them and gas and stuff making my payments higher and now my interest is higher and it’s like dominos. All I really wanted was to get into a home of my very own in NC and even explaining that my mortgage would be half of the rent I have to pay making it possible for me to pay for other stuff and bills but nothing went according to plan and here I am once again kicked back into the ditch that I feel I will never get out of. I scratch and crawl to get ahead and one action (landlord selling the home we lived in) resulted in many reactions that I can barely keep up with. I don’t think people who have family to help them or people who have a home of their own realize how lucky they really are. I wondered how some people could complain their their parents or siblings or what have you are in their lives or always being there etc and how annoying it is and I just say to them you have no idea how lucky you are to have family that is there to talk to or to help you or to call upon when you are down and out or need guidance or what have you. There’s so many things I see happening and how television is so different from when I grew up and damaging it is to kids and sets their expectations way off. Sure it’s great to dream and have high hopes but if things don’t turn out that way you certainly need to be grounded or have the ability to get back up and push forward and not let it all get you so down that you have no strength to push ahead. Hoping that I eventually get to a place where we can feel secure and not have to worry so much. I couldn’t imagine a life where I didn’t have to feel so lost and alone. But I will keep pushing forward for my kids and try my best to teach them to be the best version of themselves always no matter how hard life really is at that moment in time. May you all be blessed with health, happiness and love in your lives always.

My girl at her school friends birthday party
They were all so into seeing how others live (my baby hates clothes when he’s home). This is them happy and content.

Keep the Faith

Im so grateful that Christmas was wonderful for the kids thanks to their school helping out and my doctors office and a kind stranger at the store and additional organizations that I applied to. I also went to a gift giveaway and I was first in line with my 2year old (it was a dive through). I am most grateful we have a place to call home and each other which is the most important part of the Holiday. I also had to use a credit account to purchase the one thing they wanted as no organization provides those larger items. The school gave my daughter a ticket to see Christmas light drive through and I took them to that as well. We had gone to this light show in the years past but we weren’t going this year because money is so tight therefore the ticket was another blessing. The kids also had a chance to see Santa at the lights. As Christmas passes I know that having a place to call home for us to be together and make memories in is all that matters after the long, hard, stressful summer we had and the fears we faced. We are happy to just be. When you have those things you don’t really think about them but when they are threatened and lost it is always fear to lose them so I appreciate the small things like time spent together and having a place to call home. Feeling blessed being with my children and making memories together. Merry Christmas all and Happy New Year!

Holidays

The holidays are upon us again and I am completely determined to make this a positive holiday for my kids even though I have no idea how I’m going to buy them anything monetary but I will certainly spend as much time playing with and making them smile and laugh as I can. It has been so hard for us all but they have suffered enough. The drastic changes they have gone through has been so hard on them. They were all born into the home we were forced out of. They are all so happy we found a place to call home and that mommy can bake and cook with and for them and that what was left in decent condition from storage is here and they have their bedrooms back. You couldn’t imagine the difference it makes for them to have their belongings back. They have perked up and became somewhat more positive since moving into our house and that makes me happy. I’m personally struggling with finances and Christmas coming and feeling good about myself but I’m not able to think too much on my own needs because my kids need me to be positive and show strength for them. Staying at my Grandparents house after having to leave my home of 8+ years because my landlord wanted to sell it and we had 30 days to get out. I rented 3 storages to put everything into and lost a ton of stuff because of mold from the water in the storage units and then I went and combined three into two and when I started getting rid of all the destroyed stuff I got it down to one storage unit. Unfortunately my kids lost the most. I wish I could make it up to them on Christmas but unfortunately we will be struggling even longer. We ended up being told we had to get out of my grandparents home and had another 30 days because my Aunt heard and I say “heard” she could also sell and make a profit off their home so she threatened me and my kids with sheriffs coming to remove us. Even after everything after I put into their home and using up my savings. It seems like as soon as the problems were fixed she wanted us to get out. I was actually saving to buy our own home and had to put in a new well inside and outside, changed all the water lines, fixed many issues with the windows, put in pex to replace many pipes, and much more so we could even stay there for the two months we did. I have applied to a few Santa’s helper and even sent in a letter to USPS for possibility of having someone help us this Christmas pending that USPS even posted our letter this year as they choose who’s letter to Santa they are going to post. My son actually handed the letter to the postman asking if he delivers letters to Santa because he doesn’t have a dad he said. Ugh. Makes me feel like such a failure. Well hopefully someone sees or reads our letter and helps out. My kids still have a lot of things from our old life that we were forced out of but I worry if they don’t have anything under the tree on Christmas they will lose their faith and it will be such a shame to see them knocked back down after the fight to get up and stand on our own two feet. We did have a happy Thanksgiving as we did get the dinner together and we baked banana bread together and that makes them so happy and proud. I’m grateful that we have each other and that’s what’s important other than having a place to call home and feel safe and confident in. With that I wanted to update on how our Thanksgiving went and that we are crawling back into regular life as best as we can in our particular circumstances. May you and yours be blessed and healthy! Thank you for checking in.

My oldest three making Banana Bread with Mommy as my youngest slept. They loved spending the time together and baking

Desire to feel good about yourself again!

I’m feeling like I’m at a standstill. Have you ever felt like no matter what you do it seems you can’t get ahead or feel good about yourself with the way things are? I don’t know how else to describe what I’m feeling. I’m so blessed and happy that we have a place to call home but at the same time I also feel like this can be temporary. I would love to have my own home for my children that no one can make us move or leave at a whim or each year I have to worry the owner/landlord might wish to increase the rent or sell and I have to leave and figure something out again. The stress that situation put my entire family under is one thing I don’t care to experience ever again. When I look at myself in the mirror I don’t feel good about myself anymore and I’m not sure how to get myself out of this rut I’m in emotionally and even physically. I have to say though there’s so many bigger issues out there that it’s least of my worries right now with Christmas coming up and all the changes my kids endured over the summer. Thank you for keeping up with us and our well being. I appreciate you! May you and yours be blessed in all that you do!

We are all happy to be together and in a stable home for now so things could be way worse and I’m grateful they are not.

Finally found a place to call home!! Well, for now anyways…

It took a lot of time and effort to find a place for the kids and I and having to go through all the process of finding a place was a lot too. Wondering how a person can fill out “applications” for a rental and knowing that you have a credit score above the required minimum put you in a whole new situation as an example>> so I filled out say three applications and each place has a bunch of applicants and they run mine and say four other families applications and each family has a different income bracket and different credit score well the owner/landlords go with the best prospective tenants and that just means if someone else has a higher income or credit score or both then your turned away and they are chosen but with that now your credit scores go down even if by a few points. I think the systems broken and the owners property managers shouldn’t be allowed to run multiple family’s applications at once they need to choose one and run theirs and if they meet the requirements then they get it hands down. Not whoever has the best scores etc. I’m really sorry but I just think the world and the way things HAVE to be done due to say bad tenants and slumlords and more has really messed things up. I recall when you just looked in the local paper and called the owner/landlord and made a time to meet and discuss the place and see it and if you liked it you paid first last and security and then they gave you the lease and you pay, sign and get the keys. I get why they do what they do but it’s not fair to be running credit scores and taking information from people like socials security information and DOB and stuff if you plan to process someone else’s application. I feel it’s taking our privacy away and there’s no other option but filling out an application Hopi because that your picked and you get the place for rent. It’s just strange to me that we have to do these applications even if we aren’t going to get the place. Just not right having to give out information that’s potentially able to be used or sold etc. our history and every question that a credit card company asks. Idk maybe it’s just me.

With all of that I’m happy to say we found a place near our old home and the school allowed my children to return to their home district because we were homeless or considered homeless during the start of the school year. We finally emptied out the storages which should help save money or have money to pay the rent each month. I’m still stressed how broken the system is and how these “SPECIAL INTEREST ALIENS” are given so much money and housing and other costs of living taken care of for them. I’m just floored that our Great Country has the resources to find housing for these people but the people who were born here can’t get into housing or any assistance for their family. I’m grateful to have found a place for my kids to feel safe, comfortable and call home for now. ONE DAY, ONE DAY we will have a home of our very own that no one can throw us out of because they want to sell all of a sudden. Stability is the most important key to my survival and keeping me stable in my life and to be able to be the best mommy I can be. Even though Dad he moved out and he is on his own we are settling in and getting a routine and structure again. Praise Jesus that we are stable for now. I don’t know how much longer we would have lasted with that extreme amount of stress and situation of displacement of course. I wish I knew my Aunt was going to change her mind and send me out before I spent my entire savings or most of it anyways repairing my Grandparents home to make it livable to some degree for my kids to be able to function and stuff there. Having to put in new well inside and out and all the pex piping and the water lines etc took about 85% of all the money I had saved to buy a home of our own. I have been wondering how is it a person can pay say $1200-$1500 a month in rent but they don’t “make” enough to pay say an $800-$1100 mortgage note? It’s just strange the way these things work. It’s really unfair. With that being said I’m happy to announce we have found a home for now. A place we are comfortable living in and have our things from storage and we are getting things back together again. Thank you all for reading my many venting blog posts. I appreciate you all. Now that in settling in I can have some time to spend writing about my new daily trials and tribulations. Have a wonderful weekend!