View from the outside – Adrenalyn Max Family

Creating a Vlog?

Good afternoon my friends! I hope to find everything going well for everyone. Today I was once again told how I should do video of my adventures and how hard it is to be a mom whom does her best but struggles still. I have often been told how they/people would pay to watch my family throughout their daily lives as we must be very entertaining to them. It’s good because I do try to hold all the problems that are happening or my kids misbehaving badly as lightly or with a grain of sugar/salt and keep things light and just make the most out of the days. I guess I too see it as entertainment just so I don’t lose my mind with all the stressful stuff that happens to us. My kids love to watch other families that they can’t possible relate to as they are very structured and have nanny’s and lots of family help and bunches of money to enjoy life without worry so maybe there is many families like mine that would much rather their kids see reality and something somewhat similar to the actual lives they are living. Ya know some of these YouTube families put ideas in kids of regular families that are struggling or living paycheck to paycheck and causing kids to be confused as to why they can’t have the same lives in big homes and nice cars and even have large family involvement or what have you. It’s really difficult for the younger age kids to get that’s not OUR reality and those people have become something greater and make a lot of money to have those things and pay for those things too. So maybe it’s something to consider someday. I guess having to create the page and all that entails will take my focus from the kids so I will have to wait until at least September to get started. But maybe down the line I can even get somewhere with vlogging and hire someone to do the videos and editing like those families have their own offices and businesses relating to their family vlogs and they most likely started out small too and just grew into a bigger lifestyle. I don’t want to have any kind of huge lifestyle but it would be great to have a home I own and a dependable vehicle for my kids. Well we shall see. If anyone has any advice please feel free to comment and offer your ideas. Thanks again for reading my blog posts. Soon enough I shall have more time to be more consistent in my blog posts and maybe even start making them even better. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Seeking ways to make extra income

Hi again. I’m still dealing with many things at once. I want to get my jaw fixed but no one seems to care to fix it. I’m also having issues with my youngest being sick just nonstop. So bear with me as I type having so much running through my head at once. I’m looking for ways to make an income from him but doesn’t involve creating websites and shipping items myself. I would love to learn how drop ship works or have a site set up for me to add items to sell as I use certain things that have helped me in my journey mostly parenting. I am looking for anyone to throw some advice my way as to how to make money or have another side hustle that’s not some kind of scheme like buy stuff to sell stuff etc. I have heard about people doing Amazon dictating books for X dollars and was going to look into that but I also am not sure how that works. I’m desperate for money to pay my bills and rent. I wish I wasn’t so insecure about myself and felt comfortable posting videos. Maybe one day? Idk. Anyways if anyone has any advice or ideas for a side hustle I would greatly appreciate it as will my children.

Photo op

Good morning everyone! I am going to tell you about how I take my own family pics and how when my sister came in she paid for someone to take pics for us and how the two are a lot alike. So, I have taken my kids to a park or an outdoor area and have used my camera on my phone in portrait mode and have gotten some really amazing shots of my kids that I can then take to a store and have printed as big or small as I would like them. I will post some pics from the photos of the paid professional who did them and some of the photos I took myself. Obviously the ones I did myself are from a little bit ago but and the pictures from the pro are recent since my sister was just in a few weeks ago. Taking photos myself makes the most sense to me if I’m just taking pictures of my kids since they grow and change so fast I would be taking pictures a lot more. Anyways when I’m doing them myself it’s easier because I’m not on a time limit or have a schedule to keep to. I can take my time getting everyone dressed and out the door. I tend to promise they can play at the park afterwards so they will stay off the ground and clean and neat until my photos are done. I have taken them to the playground and to local parks for the colors of the grass, slides and equipment and even the fall foliage a few times. Once we are dressed and ready and we get to the location I usually grab a nice blanket or whatever props we are going to use for those pics and take a walk to a nice open area to start and I take a few pics in the open and then move to say a tree and take pics under it and next to it in different poses. Once my son wanted his done as Spider-Man so I allowed it since I was taking them and he really loved Spider-Man at that time. Anyways. When we are done there is when I would start walking towards the playground as once my kids see that they tend to want to run off and play so this way if they do I already have some shots completed. As we walk if I see a log or nice flowers or something like that I stop and take a few shots there too. At the playground I try to go with bright colored equipment and pose next to or on those like slides and monkey bars and so on. I have take swing pics of the kids in the air from being positioned low so the shot is them in the blue sky but that definitely take lots of pictures because their faces change so I tend to take many many shots and then go in and choose which ones came out the best and delete the ones that didn’t come out well. It definitely takes patience on everyone’s part as the kids want to play and run but it’s not too bad because they have the promise to hold on to that they can play afterwards. As far as I can tell pros may have experience and expensive cameras and stuff but I certainly can’t afford that myself so taking them myself in portrait mode on my phone saves me money and my sanity because we aren’t in a rush to get the shots because you pay for the photos and time with pros. I have also purchased one of those tripod stands for my phone that comes with a blue tooth remote camera button so I could set up and take pics of myself with the kids too. I have also taken many photos in the house. When taking indoor photos I have purchased backgrounds from Amazon for around $13 for that Holiday or season especially in the colder months as I would rather take pics inside. Plus, I can take my time and make clothing changes and start with one child at a time until all are dressed and ready to take pics of all of them together. As long as you have decent lighting and room or space in your home it’s really inexpensive to buy a background to hang and take pics using inside. I will add an indoor picture too just to give you an example. As a single parent I try to make ends meet and I love to have many photos of my growing children on my walls. So having photos of them is a must and paying a pro to take them is not always an option so this is a great alternative for me. Thanks for reading and I hope this helps some parents and you give it a try and see if this works for you too! Have a great day!!

This is inside with a background and lighting.

This was a shot I got of them being lovey.

This was same day as my son wanted to be Spider-Man

This is the most recent professional photos.

Daily experience

Hi again. So the reality of how and why so many things seem to happen to me. After having my van break I was just in a bad place emotionally and then it just seems to get even worse. What happens to me is hard to believe a lot of the time but yet here it is… The following day I am getting my eight year old son onto his van for school and as he drives off I decided to just stand on my porch for a few minutes before continuing to get the girls ready for school and here comes a car literally flying down the street. Right behind it comes another car flying down right behind it. The cars get to the corner at the bottom of the road and I hear a gunshot or what definitely sounded like a gunshot. At first I thought no… can’t be a gunshot it was a car backfire or something and in seconds after I hear a woman screaming Oh My God OhMy God Help Help I immediately called the police because clearly it was definitely a gunshot I heard and the call goes to answering system and then they answer. I explain what happened and they said they are aware and sending someone. Asked me questions I didn’t have the answers to and then the dispatcher says I don’t want to make you upset or frustrated and he hangs up on me. Here the police show up and that’s it. They were securing the scene for the ambulance to come through. Then the ambulance arrived and transported the victim to the ER and start taping off the street. I’m completely beside myself at this moment because all the kids are heading out the door for school and there’s a shooting!! I just cannot believe this! I return to getting my pre schoolers off to school to get them out of the house and away from here. This has certainly rocked me and I’m in fear for my kids and my own safety at this point. I leave take them to school and return with the baby and then an office walks up the street and is looking for homes with cameras on their houses. He sees my wireless and starts to say something about it and I told him it’s not charged so it’s not collecting anything because it’s not on. (I have to charge both of my wireless cameras on the front and back porch of the house). The officer says that a man has a gunshot to his leg and is being treated and no further information at this time. They had the street taped off until noon and this happened at 7:30am and then the news reports that there was an accidental shooting that occurred as someone had accidentally shot themselves in the leg. That the public is safe. That was obviously a LIE as to not send the public into a panic. I am also hearing that all the stores on the square in town are being robbed at night so I feel that this is only getting worse and worse. Eventually the great Country will be destroyed by all these crimes being committed and the tax payers will be paying much more to keep these people in jail. It’s such a shame. It still seems so unreal that this kind of stuff is happening here and that it’s even happening at all around here. Not sure what the rest of the situation is because it’s not being spoken of but it’s very scary and I just wish we could move away to a safer and better place. I just don’t know how or why I seem to have so many things happen and almost daily. I feel like I need an aura cleanse or some kind of positive energy intervention. It’s like my bloodline had done something in their past and that bad karma or whatever is affecting me and my family with all the negative things. I feel that any prayers or cleansing would be greatly appreciated if anyone would like to say a prayer for us. Anyways that’s the update on daily happenings. As far as my van goes it’s broken and likely for good. The timing belt/chain is most likely what’s wrong with it and it may have warped or damaged something that makes the motor run when it broke and it is leaking oil because the gaskets are blown or something. I’m just so disappointed that we finally get into a home and that is just so important for us and even struggling to pay my rent is not enough because now my van is out of commission and most likely for good. I just don’t know what to do. We could use some positive energy. Hope everyone is having a better day/week/month/year than I/we are. Stay safe everyone. I appreciate you taking the time to read my daily experiences.

Having Help

Hello again. I am just going to express some of my thoughts and feelings quick because I’m not sure many people understand why it’s so hard to be an adult and do what you have to do with kids and being a single parent. I tried to explain that many people whom have kids have family or friends they can trust and depend on to watch their children. Even if they only have one person that they can count on randomly watching their kids it’s better than no one and not at all. Just going to the store for a few items with the kids is such a hard time and stressful experience. When you hear the expression “It Takes a Village “ it is so true. One of the very reasons I wanted to have a big family is because this way my kids have each-other to help one another. I have one sister but because she lives so far away I can’t just have her sit with the kids while I run to the store or errands. Having all of them and say having to physically take everyone out to go into the pharmacy for three minutes is way too stressful and overwhelming. Or running into the grocery store for milk and bread turns into a whole other thing with kids wanting stuff I can’t afford or running around or fighting with each other or bumping into strangers because they are not paying attention. It’s just a lot. I hear some people complain that their mom or dad or family is to involved in their lives and they hate it I often say or think to myself you have no idea how lucky you are to have that. Think of how hard things would be if you didn’t have that. Most of the time their family that is in their business is only doing it because they care and want what’s best for them. I wish I had that. I wish I could do so many things that just seem way out of reach for me. I feel like by the time I can actually gain some ground in life I will be too old to actually enjoy anything. My credit score has dropped for unknown reasons (maybe because I paid the minimum payment for the last few months?) or because I have had to use them more than normal? Idk but I have to start looking for a new place soon because I can’t stay here much longer so when my lease is up I’m going to have to move out and pray we don’t end up on the street with the economy like it is and now housing being far few and in between because of all the immigration. I’m so worried about everything. I have been on the list for housing choice vouchers in a few different areas but not sure if I’m even going to get that before my lease is up. I could really use some prayers. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I’m sorry if my life often seems like a negative energy I wish it wasn’t that way too. Be safe and stay healthy!

One day at a time…

Hello there. I wanted to write an update sort of or just a little of what’s happening with me or what’s on my mind lately. I have been under the weather so to speak as my family has been sick since just before Christmas. It seems as though we are just getting virus after virus and they linger for a long time too. Anyways, I have been able to try to rest since I’m so sick and actually watch some television for once and as I watch these reality shows or my kids watch reality kids shows I see how discouraging and disconnected they all are to the real world. I certainly can’t relate to them and their lavish lifestyle and it’s so upsetting for my kids and unrealistic for them to think that’s how life is supposed to be. Every single show all of them live in these huge million dollar homes and have perfect cars and they almost all have zero family photos on their walls or anything that makes them seem real. I try to explain to my kids that they can’t just make a video and be like the shows they watch. Explaining that all those shows have people working for them editing and scripting their videos. They also have a crew following them around doing the recording that they are not walking around trying to record themselves. Of course I’m mom so they don’t believe me at all. I also watched some that just make me wonder if they even think about the money they are throwing out the door? I mean One Of their private jet trips could potentially buy a decent home or even a few decent homes for someone who doesn’t have the ability to buy their own home. I mean even one shopping trip could buy so many used vehicles for people that otherwise wouldn’t be able to have a vehicle for transportation to work or school. So many people struggle and to watch a lot of videos of people just spending needlessly is so disturbing. I wonder if any of them see a homeless person and offer them anything? I’m saying a meal or a coffee? Not necessarily a house or car but even a ten dollar bill or if they look down on them and assume they are bad people because of their situation? I don’t have the answer to that but I think if those who have the wealth looked down on those who don’t then one day they will have to answer to a higher power and in their next life maybe they wouldn’t be so wealthy and see how it truly feels to be judged and looked down on due to their circumstances. I mean I know they worked for their wealth or most of them did as some may have had it given to them by their parents or whatever. I just would like more options for my kids to see life differently and not set such high expectations. My six year old has been asking for about two years to go to Disney and I keep trying to explain that when she watches these stars go to Disney they have guides and people who plan their whole trip and they don’t have to worry about anything because they have plenty of money to have and buy whatever they want and stay at lavish hotels and go to spas and eat at fine restaurants and they truly enjoy their experiences having no limit on spending and a crew to make their plans perfect. They don’t go to Disney the same as we would go (if ever that was even possible) as they go there to truly enjoy their experience we would go and have to choose between one thing or another as we don’t have money to throw away like that. But she believes truly that Disney is magical and she would be treated like a Princess and that it would all be smooth and exciting the entire time. I just let her keep her fantasy and ultimately agree with her and say one day we will have to go there but I know that’s never going to happen. She doesn’t know that the reality is that I fought so hard to get my credit score high and that having all the bad stuff happen and now living in a place that I can’t afford has caused me to have to use my credit cards to buy food for them and gas and stuff making my payments higher and now my interest is higher and it’s like dominos. All I really wanted was to get into a home of my very own in NC and even explaining that my mortgage would be half of the rent I have to pay making it possible for me to pay for other stuff and bills but nothing went according to plan and here I am once again kicked back into the ditch that I feel I will never get out of. I scratch and crawl to get ahead and one action (landlord selling the home we lived in) resulted in many reactions that I can barely keep up with. I don’t think people who have family to help them or people who have a home of their own realize how lucky they really are. I wondered how some people could complain their their parents or siblings or what have you are in their lives or always being there etc and how annoying it is and I just say to them you have no idea how lucky you are to have family that is there to talk to or to help you or to call upon when you are down and out or need guidance or what have you. There’s so many things I see happening and how television is so different from when I grew up and damaging it is to kids and sets their expectations way off. Sure it’s great to dream and have high hopes but if things don’t turn out that way you certainly need to be grounded or have the ability to get back up and push forward and not let it all get you so down that you have no strength to push ahead. Hoping that I eventually get to a place where we can feel secure and not have to worry so much. I couldn’t imagine a life where I didn’t have to feel so lost and alone. But I will keep pushing forward for my kids and try my best to teach them to be the best version of themselves always no matter how hard life really is at that moment in time. May you all be blessed with health, happiness and love in your lives always.

My girl at her school friends birthday party

They were all so into seeing how others live (my baby hates clothes when he’s home). This is them happy and content.

Christmas draws even closer

I’m under so much pressure and stress I feel so unwound. Every single day that Christmas gets even closer I am more and more overwhelmed and becoming depressed because I can not do for my children as I would like to. Having had lost their home then their father and as if that wasn’t enough they lost at least half of their belongings in the storage unit because it became wet and moldy and destroyed so I had to throw it out. I hate not being able to provide them with what they need to make them feel happy and that they to are good and Santa hasn’t forgotten them. We are on some lists such as the USPS Santa Helper site and I even sent the letter before Thanksgiving just so it would be one of the first but I looked for it and either it’s too sad to post online or they never posted it at all. But maybe, just maybe someone has adopted us and we will receive gifts in the mail soon. I just have no idea and there’s no one to even ask what happened to our letter. I’m also on another list through my children’s school. I’m certain that list should provide them with some gifts. It’s a shame when you have to choose between rent, food, bills or Christmas gifts. Obviously I know having a home is utmost importance so that’s where all the money I have goes. I’m in such debt with my credit cards that I can’t really use them to the max because I lean on them for food and the important stuff that I can’t buy after I pay my rent. I wish that these donations at least told us parents for sure if we would be getting something for the kids. They actually have until Christmas Eve to deliver gifts so I’m forced to wait and pray that they will be able to donate before the deadline. I feel like a failure for them and with the awful summer they are feeling like they are all on the Naughty List and Santa has no idea where they went because we moved. I feel so bad. I don’t even know how to begin asking for help elsewhere because there’s so many people in this Country suffering that I hate to take from them or their kids and I just sit back and say nothing. I’m truly at a standstill. I know that my oldest is going to believe that he was not behaved and Santa put him on the Naughty list and my youngest will just say he doesn’t know where we live. It’s eventually going to turn around and I will eventually be able to post happier times and experiences. I will end this post with a Christmas photo from last year to show how excited and happy my kids are around Christmas time. BONUS** hey, I actually could make one good thing from this Holiday and that’s take my own photo shoot since I have the backdrops and lights from a Photo Booth kit I bought years ago… Yes! Some actual excitement and joy! I wish everyone a Safe and very Merry Christmas and a Safe Happy New Year!!

Holidays

The holidays are upon us again and I am completely determined to make this a positive holiday for my kids even though I have no idea how I’m going to buy them anything monetary but I will certainly spend as much time playing with and making them smile and laugh as I can. It has been so hard for us all but they have suffered enough. The drastic changes they have gone through has been so hard on them. They were all born into the home we were forced out of. They are all so happy we found a place to call home and that mommy can bake and cook with and for them and that what was left in decent condition from storage is here and they have their bedrooms back. You couldn’t imagine the difference it makes for them to have their belongings back. They have perked up and became somewhat more positive since moving into our house and that makes me happy. I’m personally struggling with finances and Christmas coming and feeling good about myself but I’m not able to think too much on my own needs because my kids need me to be positive and show strength for them. Staying at my Grandparents house after having to leave my home of 8+ years because my landlord wanted to sell it and we had 30 days to get out. I rented 3 storages to put everything into and lost a ton of stuff because of mold from the water in the storage units and then I went and combined three into two and when I started getting rid of all the destroyed stuff I got it down to one storage unit. Unfortunately my kids lost the most. I wish I could make it up to them on Christmas but unfortunately we will be struggling even longer. We ended up being told we had to get out of my grandparents home and had another 30 days because my Aunt heard and I say “heard” she could also sell and make a profit off their home so she threatened me and my kids with sheriffs coming to remove us. Even after everything after I put into their home and using up my savings. It seems like as soon as the problems were fixed she wanted us to get out. I was actually saving to buy our own home and had to put in a new well inside and outside, changed all the water lines, fixed many issues with the windows, put in pex to replace many pipes, and much more so we could even stay there for the two months we did. I have applied to a few Santa’s helper and even sent in a letter to USPS for possibility of having someone help us this Christmas pending that USPS even posted our letter this year as they choose who’s letter to Santa they are going to post. My son actually handed the letter to the postman asking if he delivers letters to Santa because he doesn’t have a dad he said. Ugh. Makes me feel like such a failure. Well hopefully someone sees or reads our letter and helps out. My kids still have a lot of things from our old life that we were forced out of but I worry if they don’t have anything under the tree on Christmas they will lose their faith and it will be such a shame to see them knocked back down after the fight to get up and stand on our own two feet. We did have a happy Thanksgiving as we did get the dinner together and we baked banana bread together and that makes them so happy and proud. I’m grateful that we have each other and that’s what’s important other than having a place to call home and feel safe and confident in. With that I wanted to update on how our Thanksgiving went and that we are crawling back into regular life as best as we can in our particular circumstances. May you and yours be blessed and healthy! Thank you for checking in.

My oldest three making Banana Bread with Mommy as my youngest slept. They loved spending the time together and baking

Desire to feel good about yourself again!

I’m feeling like I’m at a standstill. Have you ever felt like no matter what you do it seems you can’t get ahead or feel good about yourself with the way things are? I don’t know how else to describe what I’m feeling. I’m so blessed and happy that we have a place to call home but at the same time I also feel like this can be temporary. I would love to have my own home for my children that no one can make us move or leave at a whim or each year I have to worry the owner/landlord might wish to increase the rent or sell and I have to leave and figure something out again. The stress that situation put my entire family under is one thing I don’t care to experience ever again. When I look at myself in the mirror I don’t feel good about myself anymore and I’m not sure how to get myself out of this rut I’m in emotionally and even physically. I have to say though there’s so many bigger issues out there that it’s least of my worries right now with Christmas coming up and all the changes my kids endured over the summer. Thank you for keeping up with us and our well being. I appreciate you! May you and yours be blessed in all that you do!

We are all happy to be together and in a stable home for now so things could be way worse and I’m grateful they are not.