Life’s black cloud – Adrenalyn Max Family

Surgery update.

Hello everyone. I wanted to make a post on the progress of my umbilical hernia surgery but things went way sideways for me as usual. I just can’t catch a break. My surgeon was going to fix my tummy muscles since having children has spread them apart and makes me have a belly no matter what I do and fix my umbilical hernia too so that when I work out I don’t land in the er having severe pain because the fat has gone through my hernia causing me pain. Anyways as he opened me up he saw that my hernia was way larger than anticipated and he also found a second smaller hernia that he just sewed together and then he put the mesh in and it took much longer than expected so he couldn’t do my belly muscles at this time. He did make it clear that in about a year he would be willing to do the muscle surgery if I can not repair it with exercise. I pray exercise gives me what I’m looking for because this surgery is unbelievable with the pain for the first four to five days. It hurts to talk breathe and move in any way. Hurts to cough sneeze or potty. I’m much better now but my body is having an allergic reaction to the glue he used to see me back together so now my tummy is enflamed red itchy and just so sore. I’m having pains in my appendix area and went to see the surgeon today and my PCP and was given steroids by my PCP but the surgeon said not to take them to take Benadryl instead. What a mess. I’m just suffering so much. He says because he had to see some of my muscles together that might be the pains I’m having by my appendix so we will wait till Friday and see what the pains are about. Let’s pray it’s not my appendix and they burst or something crazy. I had three appointments today back to back so I’m really exhausted and having the kids who don’t acknowledge that I’m not doing so well isn’t helpful either. But for now I’m going to bed on my Benadryl and pray that the healing happens faster and properly. I’m just tired and ready to give up all together. I have fought so hard to just get a home and some stability for my kids and all these things keep happening to me and I’m just burnt out. Pray for me please I really need some positivity and good vibes sent my way. Thank you all for reading about me. I greatly appreciate your interest and prayers and concerns. Have a great night all!

Well needless to say another complication from surgery has come to light. So when I woke from surgery my mouth hurt like where your wisdom teeth would come in. I thought maybe the tube had prongs to hold it still and the anesthesia people just had placed one of the prongs on the wrong area and it would go away. Well it didn’t and I ended up seeing my dentist because I had no clue why my jaw was killing me so badly and I thought maybe an abscess. I see him and he tells me that it’s from surgery that when they put the tube in my throat they chipped my bone causing this pain and now I have to see an ENT or oral surgeon whomever can get it taken care of. It’s called something specific I just can’t think of it right now. Anyways I’m suffering tremendous jaw pain and taking Motrin around the clock as every five hours it’s work off and I have to bare to deal with the extra hour to take it again. It’s unreal. I’m seeing the ENT in the morning after weeks and weeks one this I can’t wait for them to fix it. I shall update anything relating to my surgery on this post page. Please send positive vibes and prayers my way. I truly can’t stand the pain anymore and I may even have strep and the flu on top of it all as my youngest was just swabbed positive for it yesterday. Ugh! Thanks for taking time to read my thoughts. Have a Blessed day everyone!

Daily experience

Hi again. So the reality of how and why so many things seem to happen to me. After having my van break I was just in a bad place emotionally and then it just seems to get even worse. What happens to me is hard to believe a lot of the time but yet here it is… The following day I am getting my eight year old son onto his van for school and as he drives off I decided to just stand on my porch for a few minutes before continuing to get the girls ready for school and here comes a car literally flying down the street. Right behind it comes another car flying down right behind it. The cars get to the corner at the bottom of the road and I hear a gunshot or what definitely sounded like a gunshot. At first I thought no… can’t be a gunshot it was a car backfire or something and in seconds after I hear a woman screaming Oh My God OhMy God Help Help I immediately called the police because clearly it was definitely a gunshot I heard and the call goes to answering system and then they answer. I explain what happened and they said they are aware and sending someone. Asked me questions I didn’t have the answers to and then the dispatcher says I don’t want to make you upset or frustrated and he hangs up on me. Here the police show up and that’s it. They were securing the scene for the ambulance to come through. Then the ambulance arrived and transported the victim to the ER and start taping off the street. I’m completely beside myself at this moment because all the kids are heading out the door for school and there’s a shooting!! I just cannot believe this! I return to getting my pre schoolers off to school to get them out of the house and away from here. This has certainly rocked me and I’m in fear for my kids and my own safety at this point. I leave take them to school and return with the baby and then an office walks up the street and is looking for homes with cameras on their houses. He sees my wireless and starts to say something about it and I told him it’s not charged so it’s not collecting anything because it’s not on. (I have to charge both of my wireless cameras on the front and back porch of the house). The officer says that a man has a gunshot to his leg and is being treated and no further information at this time. They had the street taped off until noon and this happened at 7:30am and then the news reports that there was an accidental shooting that occurred as someone had accidentally shot themselves in the leg. That the public is safe. That was obviously a LIE as to not send the public into a panic. I am also hearing that all the stores on the square in town are being robbed at night so I feel that this is only getting worse and worse. Eventually the great Country will be destroyed by all these crimes being committed and the tax payers will be paying much more to keep these people in jail. It’s such a shame. It still seems so unreal that this kind of stuff is happening here and that it’s even happening at all around here. Not sure what the rest of the situation is because it’s not being spoken of but it’s very scary and I just wish we could move away to a safer and better place. I just don’t know how or why I seem to have so many things happen and almost daily. I feel like I need an aura cleanse or some kind of positive energy intervention. It’s like my bloodline had done something in their past and that bad karma or whatever is affecting me and my family with all the negative things. I feel that any prayers or cleansing would be greatly appreciated if anyone would like to say a prayer for us. Anyways that’s the update on daily happenings. As far as my van goes it’s broken and likely for good. The timing belt/chain is most likely what’s wrong with it and it may have warped or damaged something that makes the motor run when it broke and it is leaking oil because the gaskets are blown or something. I’m just so disappointed that we finally get into a home and that is just so important for us and even struggling to pay my rent is not enough because now my van is out of commission and most likely for good. I just don’t know what to do. We could use some positive energy. Hope everyone is having a better day/week/month/year than I/we are. Stay safe everyone. I appreciate you taking the time to read my daily experiences.

Here I sit, once again.

Hi there. So my sister is coming in tomorrow and she had plans to take me out to a nice fancy place to eat just to give me a break from the stresses and I have to pick her up at the airport tomorrow afternoon. So of course I’m on my way to the grocery store to buy food and then I have to get my kiddos from school. Well on my way my van just dies. It throws a code and says VSN and shuts off. The baby’s asleep in his car seat and here I am, stranded. I have to get my kids from school and my van will not start. I’m just so down in the dumps. When I feel calm and that things are getting better or have any sense of joy, something goes wrong. always. I don’t have any money to put into my van. My sister had bought me this van when my daughter was born in March of 2017 so it’s lasted me almost five years. But now I have to figure out what to even do. I’m just so disappointed and the struggle has really got me at a low point. I’m just really upset this happened. Not that I wasn’t waiting for the shoe to drop but the day before my sister comes. Why? Ugh I’m being told it’s the timing belt/chain and it could have warped the motor or something and it may not ever be driven again. I mean really? Can this really be it? I guess this is life. One thing after another. The snowball effect. Trying not to let it get me down so bad this time so the kids don’t see it because they need strength and positivity. So here I come world, be easy on me I have had one heck of a ride so far. Thank you all for reading my life happenings and just know you are not alone as stuff happens to us all. We have to try to hold it together and just keep moving forward hoping to get ahead, a little at a time. Have a wonderful day everyone! I shall leave you with some happiness in a photo of the Valentines project we did together for school.

Backwards System

So I am waiting on some help for first and security because I don’t make enough to cover it on my income. Well, I spoke to the assistance office and they say because I can sleep at my Grams house even though I was told I have 30 days but I don’t have an actual eviction notice yet the assistance office wants me to stay until I get a court hearing for an eviction and THEN contact them for help! Idk I explained that’s why I moved from my last home of eight years because my LL (landlord) wanted to sell and gave me a notice to quit and not an eviction because I then couldn’t find a new place that would even consider taking me and my family with an eviction on my record even though I did nothing wrong. Once you have an eviction no perspective landlord would even look twice at my application. They just move on to the next application looking for a tenant that doesn’t have an eviction! Maybe I could find a slumlord but I may not? I don’t understand how they expect people to get into housing in short notice let alone with an eviction on their record?? This system is broken and backwards! Now waiting on a response from the place that is supposed to help I have a landlord holding a place for me and was told this place can take up to three MONTHS to send the money!! Who holds a place for 3 months? Who? Who even wants to wait that long? I just can’t with this insanity! But let’s bring immigrants over and house, feed, clothe, and medically assist them but allow all of the people who live here born here and those who have fought for us all to remain here safely live in tents or under bridges starving!! Let alone medical care!! I just can’t. Someone has to start fighting for people like me as I know there so many struggling people who can’t get a place to live or afford it. I just can’t even believe they demand I get an eviction before helping. I’m appalled by this backwards Country and what they do for us Citizens and what they ARE DOING for immigrants!!! Shame on them!! Vent over. Thanks for taking the time to read my rant… I appreciate it. Sincerely. Ty

Ed Sheeran Concert

Well here it is. So I am currently seeking a place to live that I can’t get into because I don’t make the required income. I’m trying to find help and all the lists are years long so I will be in my van with four kids come August 1st. I begged my sister to come up and take me to see Ed Sheeran in concert for my Birthday (prior to knowing the lists are crazy long and I can’t get a place to live) and he cancelled that particular show. So my birthday was a bust. Needless to say my sister went on a trip to Tennessee to see her friend and sends me a pic of a church saying guess who they are setting up for? I said please don’t say Ed Sheeran and of course it’s HIM!! And here I am calling CRISIS because my two kids are having major problems with their behaviors under the stress and situations we are in and I have to have my CAT whose ten years old euthanized because of my situation and kids. As I went to a meeting for Parents of kids with similar issues I was hit and ran. Honestly I feel these things don’t happen to people the same. It’s just piling on me and I often wonder how I haven’t cracked already. As I type my two are fighting. Does it ever get better? Will I ever catch a break will I ever not have this black cloud following me? I’m a good person and an honest person and caring and compassionate and giving and more. I don’t drink I don’t do drugs I am a 24/7 mom and that’s it. I FINALLY Graduated College with my ASW and thought that was a huge accomplishment but things have just been downhill ever since! Why is my life so hard and why does all these things keep piling on? I have been at rock bottom since June 15th being homeless with my children praying to catch a break and nope it just gets worse and worse. If this isn’t JUST ME please tell me because I feel like I’m drowning in despair. Nothing has gone right for months now. Am I alone in this? I FEEL SO ALONE!!