I’m under so much pressure and stress I feel so unwound. Every single day that Christmas gets even closer I am more and more overwhelmed and becoming depressed because I can not do for my children as I would like to. Having had lost their home then their father and as if that wasn’t enough they lost at least half of their belongings in the storage unit because it became wet and moldy and destroyed so I had to throw it out. I hate not being able to provide them with what they need to make them feel happy and that they to are good and Santa hasn’t forgotten them. We are on some lists such as the USPS Santa Helper site and I even sent the letter before Thanksgiving just so it would be one of the first but I looked for it and either it’s too sad to post online or they never posted it at all. But maybe, just maybe someone has adopted us and we will receive gifts in the mail soon. I just have no idea and there’s no one to even ask what happened to our letter. I’m also on another list through my children’s school. I’m certain that list should provide them with some gifts. It’s a shame when you have to choose between rent, food, bills or Christmas gifts. Obviously I know having a home is utmost importance so that’s where all the money I have goes. I’m in such debt with my credit cards that I can’t really use them to the max because I lean on them for food and the important stuff that I can’t buy after I pay my rent. I wish that these donations at least told us parents for sure if we would be getting something for the kids. They actually have until Christmas Eve to deliver gifts so I’m forced to wait and pray that they will be able to donate before the deadline. I feel like a failure for them and with the awful summer they are feeling like they are all on the Naughty List and Santa has no idea where they went because we moved. I feel so bad. I don’t even know how to begin asking for help elsewhere because there’s so many people in this Country suffering that I hate to take from them or their kids and I just sit back and say nothing. I’m truly at a standstill. I know that my oldest is going to believe that he was not behaved and Santa put him on the Naughty list and my youngest will just say he doesn’t know where we live. It’s eventually going to turn around and I will eventually be able to post happier times and experiences. I will end this post with a Christmas photo from last year to show how excited and happy my kids are around Christmas time. BONUS** hey, I actually could make one good thing from this Holiday and that’s take my own photo shoot since I have the backdrops and lights from a Photo Booth kit I bought years ago… Yes! Some actual excitement and joy! I wish everyone a Safe and very Merry Christmas and a Safe Happy New Year!!
