Hello again. I am just going to express some of my thoughts and feelings quick because I’m not sure many people understand why it’s so hard to be an adult and do what you have to do with kids and being a single parent. I tried to explain that many people whom have kids have family or friends they can trust and depend on to watch their children. Even if they only have one person that they can count on randomly watching their kids it’s better than no one and not at all. Just going to the store for a few items with the kids is such a hard time and stressful experience. When you hear the expression “It Takes a Village “ it is so true. One of the very reasons I wanted to have a big family is because this way my kids have each-other to help one another. I have one sister but because she lives so far away I can’t just have her sit with the kids while I run to the store or errands. Having all of them and say having to physically take everyone out to go into the pharmacy for three minutes is way too stressful and overwhelming. Or running into the grocery store for milk and bread turns into a whole other thing with kids wanting stuff I can’t afford or running around or fighting with each other or bumping into strangers because they are not paying attention. It’s just a lot. I hear some people complain that their mom or dad or family is to involved in their lives and they hate it I often say or think to myself you have no idea how lucky you are to have that. Think of how hard things would be if you didn’t have that. Most of the time their family that is in their business is only doing it because they care and want what’s best for them. I wish I had that. I wish I could do so many things that just seem way out of reach for me. I feel like by the time I can actually gain some ground in life I will be too old to actually enjoy anything. My credit score has dropped for unknown reasons (maybe because I paid the minimum payment for the last few months?) or because I have had to use them more than normal? Idk but I have to start looking for a new place soon because I can’t stay here much longer so when my lease is up I’m going to have to move out and pray we don’t end up on the street with the economy like it is and now housing being far few and in between because of all the immigration. I’m so worried about everything. I have been on the list for housing choice vouchers in a few different areas but not sure if I’m even going to get that before my lease is up. I could really use some prayers. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I’m sorry if my life often seems like a negative energy I wish it wasn’t that way too. Be safe and stay healthy!
Tag Archives: Homelessness
One day at a time…
Hello there. I wanted to write an update sort of or just a little of what’s happening with me or what’s on my mind lately. I have been under the weather so to speak as my family has been sick since just before Christmas. It seems as though we are just getting virus after virus and they linger for a long time too. Anyways, I have been able to try to rest since I’m so sick and actually watch some television for once and as I watch these reality shows or my kids watch reality kids shows I see how discouraging and disconnected they all are to the real world. I certainly can’t relate to them and their lavish lifestyle and it’s so upsetting for my kids and unrealistic for them to think that’s how life is supposed to be. Every single show all of them live in these huge million dollar homes and have perfect cars and they almost all have zero family photos on their walls or anything that makes them seem real. I try to explain to my kids that they can’t just make a video and be like the shows they watch. Explaining that all those shows have people working for them editing and scripting their videos. They also have a crew following them around doing the recording that they are not walking around trying to record themselves. Of course I’m mom so they don’t believe me at all. I also watched some that just make me wonder if they even think about the money they are throwing out the door? I mean One Of their private jet trips could potentially buy a decent home or even a few decent homes for someone who doesn’t have the ability to buy their own home. I mean even one shopping trip could buy so many used vehicles for people that otherwise wouldn’t be able to have a vehicle for transportation to work or school. So many people struggle and to watch a lot of videos of people just spending needlessly is so disturbing. I wonder if any of them see a homeless person and offer them anything? I’m saying a meal or a coffee? Not necessarily a house or car but even a ten dollar bill or if they look down on them and assume they are bad people because of their situation? I don’t have the answer to that but I think if those who have the wealth looked down on those who don’t then one day they will have to answer to a higher power and in their next life maybe they wouldn’t be so wealthy and see how it truly feels to be judged and looked down on due to their circumstances. I mean I know they worked for their wealth or most of them did as some may have had it given to them by their parents or whatever. I just would like more options for my kids to see life differently and not set such high expectations. My six year old has been asking for about two years to go to Disney and I keep trying to explain that when she watches these stars go to Disney they have guides and people who plan their whole trip and they don’t have to worry about anything because they have plenty of money to have and buy whatever they want and stay at lavish hotels and go to spas and eat at fine restaurants and they truly enjoy their experiences having no limit on spending and a crew to make their plans perfect. They don’t go to Disney the same as we would go (if ever that was even possible) as they go there to truly enjoy their experience we would go and have to choose between one thing or another as we don’t have money to throw away like that. But she believes truly that Disney is magical and she would be treated like a Princess and that it would all be smooth and exciting the entire time. I just let her keep her fantasy and ultimately agree with her and say one day we will have to go there but I know that’s never going to happen. She doesn’t know that the reality is that I fought so hard to get my credit score high and that having all the bad stuff happen and now living in a place that I can’t afford has caused me to have to use my credit cards to buy food for them and gas and stuff making my payments higher and now my interest is higher and it’s like dominos. All I really wanted was to get into a home of my very own in NC and even explaining that my mortgage would be half of the rent I have to pay making it possible for me to pay for other stuff and bills but nothing went according to plan and here I am once again kicked back into the ditch that I feel I will never get out of. I scratch and crawl to get ahead and one action (landlord selling the home we lived in) resulted in many reactions that I can barely keep up with. I don’t think people who have family to help them or people who have a home of their own realize how lucky they really are. I wondered how some people could complain their their parents or siblings or what have you are in their lives or always being there etc and how annoying it is and I just say to them you have no idea how lucky you are to have family that is there to talk to or to help you or to call upon when you are down and out or need guidance or what have you. There’s so many things I see happening and how television is so different from when I grew up and damaging it is to kids and sets their expectations way off. Sure it’s great to dream and have high hopes but if things don’t turn out that way you certainly need to be grounded or have the ability to get back up and push forward and not let it all get you so down that you have no strength to push ahead. Hoping that I eventually get to a place where we can feel secure and not have to worry so much. I couldn’t imagine a life where I didn’t have to feel so lost and alone. But I will keep pushing forward for my kids and try my best to teach them to be the best version of themselves always no matter how hard life really is at that moment in time. May you all be blessed with health, happiness and love in your lives always.
I’m not very political but…
How have your political views changed over time?
First let me just say I feel this Country being lost. We are allowing southern Countries to empty all their citizens into ours and then what expect us to house feed and care for them but we leave our Veterans and our own Citizens on the streets to fend for themselves without help. The “special interest aliens” are allowed to sleep inside police stations on the floor and use our police stations as their refuge and if any US Citizen was to do that we would be arrested. As these parents claim asylum and say they want a better life for their families they drag their kids across miles of desert and without food water basic necessities but we don’t arrest them or take their kids away we put them on a bus and allow them to live here in the freedoms that our Veterans fought for. I am all for wanting a better life but going about it the right way. If when we were struggling during the summer I had to use almost all my savings to replace the well inside and outside my Grandparents home before being told to leave there because my aunt wanted to sell it or whatever she changed her mind. Anyways if I didn’t and I had no running water or a roof over my kids heads then CPS would take custody of my kids. But these immigrants are not being held to the same standards as we are they are given more freedoms than us. We as a Country should be speaking up and stopping this open borders thing and sending them back to their Country and making them go through the regular process. They didn’t before because of reasons we don’t know and now they are just allowed to be here and we don’t take anything from them to track them or know them like pictures for facial recognition or dna samples and who knows who’s coming into here. Pedophiles Murders Rapists Criminals who are willing to break into homes and torture victims and take their stuff as their own. We have no idea. We just don’t know anything but we keep letting them in. Transport bus loads of them to different areas and open the bus doors and say bye that’s it. That is it. I can’t get housing assistance but they get stipends and freedoms to stay at police stations or any tax paid community building. It’s just awful. Are we expecting that we are going to all have to learn Spanish or are they going to learn our language and how are we supposed to school their kids we can’t even school our own kids or pay teachers what they deserve. Not to mention the rules that apply to us as parents who are US citizens don’t apply to these immigrants. As far as how have my political views changed well I just feel like politicians will do anything for votes even if it means lies or putting our citizens At risk but political views are not even relevant as long as we as a country don’t unite and make this stop. We can not care for our own people how can we force tax payers to pay for these “special interest aliens”? It’s just awful. We need to wake up and take a stand and be heard together as one. We are not going to be the majority soon as we continue to allow open borders.
Finally found a place to call home!! Well, for now anyways…
It took a lot of time and effort to find a place for the kids and I and having to go through all the process of finding a place was a lot too. Wondering how a person can fill out “applications” for a rental and knowing that you have a credit score above the required minimum put you in a whole new situation as an example>> so I filled out say three applications and each place has a bunch of applicants and they run mine and say four other families applications and each family has a different income bracket and different credit score well the owner/landlords go with the best prospective tenants and that just means if someone else has a higher income or credit score or both then your turned away and they are chosen but with that now your credit scores go down even if by a few points. I think the systems broken and the owners property managers shouldn’t be allowed to run multiple family’s applications at once they need to choose one and run theirs and if they meet the requirements then they get it hands down. Not whoever has the best scores etc. I’m really sorry but I just think the world and the way things HAVE to be done due to say bad tenants and slumlords and more has really messed things up. I recall when you just looked in the local paper and called the owner/landlord and made a time to meet and discuss the place and see it and if you liked it you paid first last and security and then they gave you the lease and you pay, sign and get the keys. I get why they do what they do but it’s not fair to be running credit scores and taking information from people like socials security information and DOB and stuff if you plan to process someone else’s application. I feel it’s taking our privacy away and there’s no other option but filling out an application Hopi because that your picked and you get the place for rent. It’s just strange to me that we have to do these applications even if we aren’t going to get the place. Just not right having to give out information that’s potentially able to be used or sold etc. our history and every question that a credit card company asks. Idk maybe it’s just me.
With all of that I’m happy to say we found a place near our old home and the school allowed my children to return to their home district because we were homeless or considered homeless during the start of the school year. We finally emptied out the storages which should help save money or have money to pay the rent each month. I’m still stressed how broken the system is and how these “SPECIAL INTEREST ALIENS” are given so much money and housing and other costs of living taken care of for them. I’m just floored that our Great Country has the resources to find housing for these people but the people who were born here can’t get into housing or any assistance for their family. I’m grateful to have found a place for my kids to feel safe, comfortable and call home for now. ONE DAY, ONE DAY we will have a home of our very own that no one can throw us out of because they want to sell all of a sudden. Stability is the most important key to my survival and keeping me stable in my life and to be able to be the best mommy I can be. Even though Dad he moved out and he is on his own we are settling in and getting a routine and structure again. Praise Jesus that we are stable for now. I don’t know how much longer we would have lasted with that extreme amount of stress and situation of displacement of course. I wish I knew my Aunt was going to change her mind and send me out before I spent my entire savings or most of it anyways repairing my Grandparents home to make it livable to some degree for my kids to be able to function and stuff there. Having to put in new well inside and out and all the pex piping and the water lines etc took about 85% of all the money I had saved to buy a home of our own. I have been wondering how is it a person can pay say $1200-$1500 a month in rent but they don’t “make” enough to pay say an $800-$1100 mortgage note? It’s just strange the way these things work. It’s really unfair. With that being said I’m happy to announce we have found a home for now. A place we are comfortable living in and have our things from storage and we are getting things back together again. Thank you all for reading my many venting blog posts. I appreciate you all. Now that in settling in I can have some time to spend writing about my new daily trials and tribulations. Have a wonderful weekend!
Feeling defeated AGAIN!!
Needless to say I am having zero luck finding a place for my family to live. I have looked at some places but am always turned down because of my income not being 3X the rent. The property owners do not take into account any assistance that I may get such as heating and electricity assistance. I guess they just know what the bills are typically for their units and calculate my income and say I will not have money to pay for food or water gas electric bills etc. I’m starting to feel like those on a fixed income that their income SHOULD Be at the very minimum what it costs today to rent a place to live. It’s unrealistic that all people are living on 3X the rent.
I’m going to say that no one is taking notice to this Country bringing in millions of immigrants and giving them ALL OUR RESOURCES and ALL the people who are rightfully here are not able to get help because there’s no funds left because Biden gave it all away to the people who have been coming from other Countries. I have to find a way for Congress to see how awful this Country has become and the lack of help for OUR OWN PEOPLE!! The USA IS FULL! We can’t help out our own citizens so we can’t help those from other countries either. The word truly needs to get out there. We aren’t going to see it or acknowledge it until it’s too late and we bring over all these people and then they are getting money cars and homes and it’s a matter of time before the behaviors they were or are used to from their home Countries comes out and we are being attacked from our backyard by all the people Biden paid to live here free. Seriously people WAKE UP!! THe time is NOW! We need to stop this. We need to get our own people the help they need and stop giving stipends and SS payments to those whom aren’t even born here. And if someone comes here from another country pregnant or is an immigrant and gets pregnant they should not be given status because they don’t belong here isn’t eh first place. I’m all for going through the motions for a Green card but not to come here for free or on the USA funds. Besides that if I am on the streets with my kids then I’m charged with negligence and CPS takes my kids away. Not to mention child endangerment etc but dragging babies and kids across miles and miles of desert without food or water is okay and here’s your STIPEND. NOPE!! This system is broken. We need to wake up and stop this now!! Seriously!! I’m so upset. I can’t get a single thing from any assistance office that I’m considering just going south with kids in tow and saying I’m also an IMMIGRANT SEEKING ASYLUM! I need that help too a home a car and money each month. Really!!
Backwards System
So I am waiting on some help for first and security because I don’t make enough to cover it on my income. Well, I spoke to the assistance office and they say because I can sleep at my Grams house even though I was told I have 30 days but I don’t have an actual eviction notice yet the assistance office wants me to stay until I get a court hearing for an eviction and THEN contact them for help! Idk I explained that’s why I moved from my last home of eight years because my LL (landlord) wanted to sell and gave me a notice to quit and not an eviction because I then couldn’t find a new place that would even consider taking me and my family with an eviction on my record even though I did nothing wrong. Once you have an eviction no perspective landlord would even look twice at my application. They just move on to the next application looking for a tenant that doesn’t have an eviction! Maybe I could find a slumlord but I may not? I don’t understand how they expect people to get into housing in short notice let alone with an eviction on their record?? This system is broken and backwards! Now waiting on a response from the place that is supposed to help I have a landlord holding a place for me and was told this place can take up to three MONTHS to send the money!! Who holds a place for 3 months? Who? Who even wants to wait that long? I just can’t with this insanity! But let’s bring immigrants over and house, feed, clothe, and medically assist them but allow all of the people who live here born here and those who have fought for us all to remain here safely live in tents or under bridges starving!! Let alone medical care!! I just can’t. Someone has to start fighting for people like me as I know there so many struggling people who can’t get a place to live or afford it. I just can’t even believe they demand I get an eviction before helping. I’m appalled by this backwards Country and what they do for us Citizens and what they ARE DOING for immigrants!!! Shame on them!! Vent over. Thanks for taking the time to read my rant… I appreciate it. Sincerely. Ty
It’s been a long week
Where to even begin? I am going to start with… I hope everyone/anyone reading this is doing well. Now to begin the complications I have found myself in. As I have said before I have found myself and my kids in a very difficult situation as we were forced out of our home we lived in for eight years (not due to any fault of my own) as the owner/landlord decided to sell earlier than the ten year mark as he stated would be the end of the lease and either I can buy if he’s ready to sell or renew for ten years. So I wasn’t ready to buy at that moment and I had to move out asap. My grandparents home was/is vacant as they recently passed away and the estate is just up in the air to their six children and I asked if I could stay there until I got into something. Trying to find a place to rent has been challenging, as I don’t make three times the rent in income. Therefore, I had to go to every agency such as housing and section eight to help me get into something. The lists are years out and in most places section eight is closed for years. But when section eight/housing choice voucher does open and if your lucky enough to get on the list- the wait is at min a year or more. I had gone to HUD and many county assistance offices and housing agencies but none can help me and my family. At this point we had gone to a shelter to get on their list if they had one and we were turned away from the shelter since they were full. I am looking every single day for a place to move into but every place is either wanting 3X the rent in income or the application process takes way too long as we need immediate housing. Well with that I received a call from my one Aunt and she flipped out on me because I was not allowed (by the Eletric company) to pay my grandfathers bill and she was turning the power off because he is deceased. She then said I couldn’t put it in my Aunts name because she has to do it herself and she was shutting the power off right now. Needless to say she had me put it in my name so that I wasn’t charging anyone else’s bills and said that the estate has to take care of his bill or I can pay it if I want after they send the final bill. I figured my Aunt would be mad about this but Waldo didn’t want the power off and I certainly don’t mind it being in my name while I’m here. So I went forward with turning the power in my name and my Aunt just got his final bill and she flipped out on me about it. Started saying how I’m not homeless but in the same breath saying how she’s on her way to the magistrates to have me and the kids removed by the sheriff. I should have known that this was going to happen. She then says I’m living rent free and my kids dad didn’t leave me and we are living the great life rent free. I remained her how i already paid the gas bill ($600+) the day I came here and I had to replace all the water lines and had PEX installed because all the pipes in the basement were sprung leaks. The faucets were so old that they couldn’t even be turned anymore as they were rusted solid. I had to replace all those. She then says she will pay me for what I have fixed up here (she will not she is lying and will not like the bill for the stuff up here) and she and my Uncle want the house back so they can sit up here and cry. Mind you I came here and it was alleviating a huge problem for her not having to keep up with the maintenance like grass and so on. Also the bills were now not her problem either. Needless to say she wants me out asap. My sister spoke to her and I have now 30 days to find a place or we will live in my broken van in a parking lot someplace. People are so cruel. I promise when this is all said and done we will have zero communication with them (my Aunt and those wanting my kids and I out) anymore for forcing my family into the streets if we can’t get into a place. That’s only a small portion of my week. I’m so sad that I can’t make this work for my kids mostly because they just want a home and their lives back and I am failing at that. School starts soon and I can’t even register my daughter for kindergarten until I know where we are going to live. I reached out to their old school because HUD told me there’s a law that states if we are homeless that children can attend at their old district. Hoping we don’t have to do that but it’s an option at least. At any rate having to figure this out has been challenging and super eye opening to those people on fixed incomes and disabled. One day when I’m settled I plan to fight for people like me and people who have been through the same stuff as I have in my life. Since so much has happened I am going to end it there and I will write another blog about what is happening to me later as this one is long and a lot to read already. Praying no one else has or had to suffer the same as myself and my family.
Just another brick wall
I’m not feeling too good about finding a place. I’m super upset that the government is giving away money to people to buy homes and then I found out that the man who bought the house we lived in for 8 years that I wanted to buy when my daughters SSD went through was purchased by one of those people who was given stipend money for coming here and bought my house from my old landlord. How can these things even be happening. Here I am disabled and the daughter and of Veterans and the ex wife of a veteran also and the government is throwing money at those people who are not even US citizens. Feel like fighting for our Country and our Freedoms doesn’t pay off but if you come here with nothing but some story to tell you will be handed a house a car and everything needed to live “The American Dream”. I remember when I began college and had to take all the regular classes I had written an essay about living The American Dream and thinking how blessed am I to have been born here in America where Dreams do come true. Ha. What a joke. I guess I’m hurt and feeling abandoned and lost all while not having any place to live with my four children. Their father just left us behind and we couldn’t get assistance from any agency even when we stood at their door crying and begging them to help. But sure enough if we cross the border we would get some help. I wouldn’t be charged with CHILD ABUSE for dragging my kids the long distance to get to the border but we would be given loads of money and more. This country is backwards and treating their own like immigrants and treating the aliens like their own. See where O live CPS would take my kids if I drug them across borders and put them in danger. If we stave or go without water they would charge us with neglecting our kids and then take them away from us. These are facts!! I’m not making none of these things up. I’m just broken, depressed, hurt, angry, and more. I have been trying to seem like all is well for my children as not to make things even harder since their Dr is saying that moving and dad leaving and the instability is affecting the kids pretty harshly so I’m doing what I can to help them stay focused on school coming soon and anything else I can help them see as a positive but I guess as a parent that’s what we are supposed to do even though everything is falling apart around us. May my prayers be heard and God carry us through these hard times. Just left to praying because unless some Pa representative or politician gets involved I am not going to be getting any help from anyone. We will find ourselves on the streets or in a tent because the government only has aid for people not being US citizens. So sad.
Immigrants getting MONEY & STIPENDS
Immigrants are getting $1800 a month per Adult and $900 a month per CHILD ALSO GETTING A STIPEND TO BUY A VEHICLE AND A HOUSE OR PAY THEIR RENT FOR TEN YEARS. They get food stamps and medical and dental and all kinds of stuff but here I am a Army Brat as BOTH my parents were in the Army and I was born at an Army Medical Center I’m also divorced from a Service member and I am ACTUALLY HOMELESS AND CANT GET ANY HELP!!! I have reached out to 211, UNITED WAY, CEO, National Helpline for Veterans and their Families, Red Cross, HUD, DHS, Assistance Office, Housing, and more and was even turned away from a shelter with my 4 kids! This is the CRAZY PRESIDENT AND CRAZY COUNTRY WE LIVE IN!! If I spoke Spanish I would 100% cross the border and come back over a whole new nobody and have my hand out too. Here I am can’t even get ANY HELP AT ALL! I have multiple places working for me to find shelter/housing and I’m out of luck!! I have 4 KIDS!!! What’s wrong with this Country?? Why can’t I get a place but basically Aliens can get into a place and get all kinds of perks!! I’m really at the end of my rope and I feel like how much more can I possibly take??? What else is going to happen to me/us? How do I get the same as they are getting?? Someone has to know a way for my family to get help even if we HAVE TO TRAVEL AND MOVE We just need a home to call our own to offer routine and stability to my kids. Any advice is welcomed.
Trying to keep it all together
Good morning. Well it could certainly be a good one for many people but not so much for me. But I guess it’s just one of those things we say even when things aren’t so good. Anywho, last night was a night to remember. My EX (kids father) came to get his truck and trailer from my Grams property and he seen three of the four kids (the oldest ones as the baby was asleep already) and of course he tells them how he has a two bedroom apartment and that’s where he lives now etc. This created some confusion and trauma for the kids who are already in a delicate and stressful situation since I did speak to my two kid’s Psychiatrist who specifically said that if we split up now during this situation we are in it can cause damage to them. I understood because they had lived at the same house all their lives and they have had their parents together all their lives and their personal belongings (now in storage) and of course the cat (which I have to send away). The Dr explained that under the stress they are showing signs of regression (peeing their pants etc) and to add unnecessary stress to their little minds and hearts would be not a good time to split up. I had told him (Dad) this after speaking to him on the phone after the meeting between the psychiatrist and I, and without regard for their psyche he up and left anyways. Funny thing is that when we left our home to come to my grams he said on the way here “we wouldn’t have had no place to go because I have a 2bedroom on standby”. Well I told my family he said that because he had this 2 bedroom apartment but he forced me to figure out where we were going to live until we got into what we ultimately wanted which was to move South so I could be closer to my sister for help with the kids. My family told me yes he has an apartment on standby for himself because he refuses to be responsible and pay for his children and their needs. He is going to Grams with you because it’s free and sure enough when I told him we have a date to go by he told me he was not coming with me and going to his apartment on standby. I have all four kids with me 24/7 so finding a place to go is not easy and applying for places to rent is not easy either since I can’t even write to fill out applications because they are just stressed and they begin arguing or fighting or running around etc. I am still going to apply at places even though my kids are a handful during this period. I believe that this is all a direct response to the pandemic. I believe my old landlord had to sell because of money problems because of the pandemic and we were just in the line of fire so to speak. Needless to say I don’t really have much of an update on life other than it certainly can get worse and I have learned not to say that anymore. I’m hurt, stressed, and frustrated with this whole situation but because I need to fix this for my children I am holding it together and I will release all the pain when we are settled someplace with all their belongings and they are content and happy and have their routines and stability the way we are used to. May God have mercy on me and my babies! Praying
