Blogging – Page 3 – Adrenalyn Max Family

Keep the Faith

Im so grateful that Christmas was wonderful for the kids thanks to their school helping out and my doctors office and a kind stranger at the store and additional organizations that I applied to. I also went to a gift giveaway and I was first in line with my 2year old (it was a dive through). I am most grateful we have a place to call home and each other which is the most important part of the Holiday. I also had to use a credit account to purchase the one thing they wanted as no organization provides those larger items. The school gave my daughter a ticket to see Christmas light drive through and I took them to that as well. We had gone to this light show in the years past but we weren’t going this year because money is so tight therefore the ticket was another blessing. The kids also had a chance to see Santa at the lights. As Christmas passes I know that having a place to call home for us to be together and make memories in is all that matters after the long, hard, stressful summer we had and the fears we faced. We are happy to just be. When you have those things you don’t really think about them but when they are threatened and lost it is always fear to lose them so I appreciate the small things like time spent together and having a place to call home. Feeling blessed being with my children and making memories together. Merry Christmas all and Happy New Year!

Christmas time and I was about to give up and then this happens…

Hello and let me first say thank you for taking the time to read my blog posts. So as you know we have been through some rough stuff over the summer and we have found a place to call home even though making my bills and the rent has been a struggle. Anyway we made it this far and still have a roof over our heads and that’s a blessing. With that being said Christmas is getting closer and I have received help from one of the multiple organizations I applied to. It’s so scary and stressful not knowing if the other places are going to pull through or if we just have to wait until Christmas Eve or something? So I went to return a outfit I bought at full price as it was now on super sale and I found a few clearance items and as I took them to the register to ask how much they all were and if anything additional came off the clearance price the cashier and I spoke about an agency that was helping her younger siblings who are foster children and she said how incredible these agencies are and the large gifts that they purchased for her siblings. Unfortunately I don’t live in their district so I couldn’t apply. But I was so pleased to hear how great another person or people were in making a strangers child have a wonderful Christmas Day. As we spoke of that I had to put all but one item aside because I just can’t afford it clearance or not. Well… there was a man picking up an online order for his wife and he said he would pay for the items I couldn’t buy. I couldn’t believe my ears. I’m still shaken and randomly cry at the kindness he showed me and without judgement. I started to lose hope in society and people in general because when we had no place to call home there just was no help at all for us. None. Being such an engaged mom and family I felt so let down by the system and how they just have no help for us who really need it. For a home. Not money but a place to feel safe and lay our heads at night and to keep warm and clean etc. But this man who was a stranger who didn’t have to do that DID!! How incredibly awesome was that!! I prayed for his family to have blessings and lots of love in their lives. He made me have that happy cry I so badly needed. I have to say that one gesture has restored a lot of hope I lost in society. Thank you to him for being so kind. I keep reminding my children that being together is what’s important during the Holidays and everyday. Spending time together laughing making memories is what’s important and we will eventually get our lives back the way it was and then we can have a big Christmas celebration one year. They agree but I know they believe that Santa is going to pull through and come for them. My son who’s 8 actually handed our letter to Santa to the postman and he’s sure Santa got it because the postman said he ABSOLUTELY delivers to Santa still. So he is sure Santa’s coming. I fight so hard to be the best mom I could possibly be and their little faces are all I can think about with Christmas right around the corner. Here’s hoping the other organizations I applied to will prevail and pull through this week for them before schools out and I will then have all four kids in tow all day and night leaving zero free time to pick up gifts for them. I’m going to end it there as this was just to say thank you so much to the gentleman at JC Penney and to those who have pulled through for us such as the homeless advocate at my kids school. Thank you for helping us this year I/We Appreciate you all!! I leave you all with a photo of my girls with Santa at school. Thank you again. Merry Christmas to all and I hope you all find yourselves together, healthy and safe this holiday season! Bless you all! Merry Christmas!!

Christmas draws even closer

I’m under so much pressure and stress I feel so unwound. Every single day that Christmas gets even closer I am more and more overwhelmed and becoming depressed because I can not do for my children as I would like to. Having had lost their home then their father and as if that wasn’t enough they lost at least half of their belongings in the storage unit because it became wet and moldy and destroyed so I had to throw it out. I hate not being able to provide them with what they need to make them feel happy and that they to are good and Santa hasn’t forgotten them. We are on some lists such as the USPS Santa Helper site and I even sent the letter before Thanksgiving just so it would be one of the first but I looked for it and either it’s too sad to post online or they never posted it at all. But maybe, just maybe someone has adopted us and we will receive gifts in the mail soon. I just have no idea and there’s no one to even ask what happened to our letter. I’m also on another list through my children’s school. I’m certain that list should provide them with some gifts. It’s a shame when you have to choose between rent, food, bills or Christmas gifts. Obviously I know having a home is utmost importance so that’s where all the money I have goes. I’m in such debt with my credit cards that I can’t really use them to the max because I lean on them for food and the important stuff that I can’t buy after I pay my rent. I wish that these donations at least told us parents for sure if we would be getting something for the kids. They actually have until Christmas Eve to deliver gifts so I’m forced to wait and pray that they will be able to donate before the deadline. I feel like a failure for them and with the awful summer they are feeling like they are all on the Naughty List and Santa has no idea where they went because we moved. I feel so bad. I don’t even know how to begin asking for help elsewhere because there’s so many people in this Country suffering that I hate to take from them or their kids and I just sit back and say nothing. I’m truly at a standstill. I know that my oldest is going to believe that he was not behaved and Santa put him on the Naughty list and my youngest will just say he doesn’t know where we live. It’s eventually going to turn around and I will eventually be able to post happier times and experiences. I will end this post with a Christmas photo from last year to show how excited and happy my kids are around Christmas time. BONUS** hey, I actually could make one good thing from this Holiday and that’s take my own photo shoot since I have the backdrops and lights from a Photo Booth kit I bought years ago… Yes! Some actual excitement and joy! I wish everyone a Safe and very Merry Christmas and a Safe Happy New Year!!

Holidays

The holidays are upon us again and I am completely determined to make this a positive holiday for my kids even though I have no idea how I’m going to buy them anything monetary but I will certainly spend as much time playing with and making them smile and laugh as I can. It has been so hard for us all but they have suffered enough. The drastic changes they have gone through has been so hard on them. They were all born into the home we were forced out of. They are all so happy we found a place to call home and that mommy can bake and cook with and for them and that what was left in decent condition from storage is here and they have their bedrooms back. You couldn’t imagine the difference it makes for them to have their belongings back. They have perked up and became somewhat more positive since moving into our house and that makes me happy. I’m personally struggling with finances and Christmas coming and feeling good about myself but I’m not able to think too much on my own needs because my kids need me to be positive and show strength for them. Staying at my Grandparents house after having to leave my home of 8+ years because my landlord wanted to sell it and we had 30 days to get out. I rented 3 storages to put everything into and lost a ton of stuff because of mold from the water in the storage units and then I went and combined three into two and when I started getting rid of all the destroyed stuff I got it down to one storage unit. Unfortunately my kids lost the most. I wish I could make it up to them on Christmas but unfortunately we will be struggling even longer. We ended up being told we had to get out of my grandparents home and had another 30 days because my Aunt heard and I say “heard” she could also sell and make a profit off their home so she threatened me and my kids with sheriffs coming to remove us. Even after everything after I put into their home and using up my savings. It seems like as soon as the problems were fixed she wanted us to get out. I was actually saving to buy our own home and had to put in a new well inside and outside, changed all the water lines, fixed many issues with the windows, put in pex to replace many pipes, and much more so we could even stay there for the two months we did. I have applied to a few Santa’s helper and even sent in a letter to USPS for possibility of having someone help us this Christmas pending that USPS even posted our letter this year as they choose who’s letter to Santa they are going to post. My son actually handed the letter to the postman asking if he delivers letters to Santa because he doesn’t have a dad he said. Ugh. Makes me feel like such a failure. Well hopefully someone sees or reads our letter and helps out. My kids still have a lot of things from our old life that we were forced out of but I worry if they don’t have anything under the tree on Christmas they will lose their faith and it will be such a shame to see them knocked back down after the fight to get up and stand on our own two feet. We did have a happy Thanksgiving as we did get the dinner together and we baked banana bread together and that makes them so happy and proud. I’m grateful that we have each other and that’s what’s important other than having a place to call home and feel safe and confident in. With that I wanted to update on how our Thanksgiving went and that we are crawling back into regular life as best as we can in our particular circumstances. May you and yours be blessed and healthy! Thank you for checking in.

My oldest three making Banana Bread with Mommy as my youngest slept. They loved spending the time together and baking

Desire to feel good about yourself again!

I’m feeling like I’m at a standstill. Have you ever felt like no matter what you do it seems you can’t get ahead or feel good about yourself with the way things are? I don’t know how else to describe what I’m feeling. I’m so blessed and happy that we have a place to call home but at the same time I also feel like this can be temporary. I would love to have my own home for my children that no one can make us move or leave at a whim or each year I have to worry the owner/landlord might wish to increase the rent or sell and I have to leave and figure something out again. The stress that situation put my entire family under is one thing I don’t care to experience ever again. When I look at myself in the mirror I don’t feel good about myself anymore and I’m not sure how to get myself out of this rut I’m in emotionally and even physically. I have to say though there’s so many bigger issues out there that it’s least of my worries right now with Christmas coming up and all the changes my kids endured over the summer. Thank you for keeping up with us and our well being. I appreciate you! May you and yours be blessed in all that you do!

We are all happy to be together and in a stable home for now so things could be way worse and I’m grateful they are not.

Finally found a place to call home!! Well, for now anyways…

It took a lot of time and effort to find a place for the kids and I and having to go through all the process of finding a place was a lot too. Wondering how a person can fill out “applications” for a rental and knowing that you have a credit score above the required minimum put you in a whole new situation as an example>> so I filled out say three applications and each place has a bunch of applicants and they run mine and say four other families applications and each family has a different income bracket and different credit score well the owner/landlords go with the best prospective tenants and that just means if someone else has a higher income or credit score or both then your turned away and they are chosen but with that now your credit scores go down even if by a few points. I think the systems broken and the owners property managers shouldn’t be allowed to run multiple family’s applications at once they need to choose one and run theirs and if they meet the requirements then they get it hands down. Not whoever has the best scores etc. I’m really sorry but I just think the world and the way things HAVE to be done due to say bad tenants and slumlords and more has really messed things up. I recall when you just looked in the local paper and called the owner/landlord and made a time to meet and discuss the place and see it and if you liked it you paid first last and security and then they gave you the lease and you pay, sign and get the keys. I get why they do what they do but it’s not fair to be running credit scores and taking information from people like socials security information and DOB and stuff if you plan to process someone else’s application. I feel it’s taking our privacy away and there’s no other option but filling out an application Hopi because that your picked and you get the place for rent. It’s just strange to me that we have to do these applications even if we aren’t going to get the place. Just not right having to give out information that’s potentially able to be used or sold etc. our history and every question that a credit card company asks. Idk maybe it’s just me.

With all of that I’m happy to say we found a place near our old home and the school allowed my children to return to their home district because we were homeless or considered homeless during the start of the school year. We finally emptied out the storages which should help save money or have money to pay the rent each month. I’m still stressed how broken the system is and how these “SPECIAL INTEREST ALIENS” are given so much money and housing and other costs of living taken care of for them. I’m just floored that our Great Country has the resources to find housing for these people but the people who were born here can’t get into housing or any assistance for their family. I’m grateful to have found a place for my kids to feel safe, comfortable and call home for now. ONE DAY, ONE DAY we will have a home of our very own that no one can throw us out of because they want to sell all of a sudden. Stability is the most important key to my survival and keeping me stable in my life and to be able to be the best mommy I can be. Even though Dad he moved out and he is on his own we are settling in and getting a routine and structure again. Praise Jesus that we are stable for now. I don’t know how much longer we would have lasted with that extreme amount of stress and situation of displacement of course. I wish I knew my Aunt was going to change her mind and send me out before I spent my entire savings or most of it anyways repairing my Grandparents home to make it livable to some degree for my kids to be able to function and stuff there. Having to put in new well inside and out and all the pex piping and the water lines etc took about 85% of all the money I had saved to buy a home of our own. I have been wondering how is it a person can pay say $1200-$1500 a month in rent but they don’t “make” enough to pay say an $800-$1100 mortgage note? It’s just strange the way these things work. It’s really unfair. With that being said I’m happy to announce we have found a home for now. A place we are comfortable living in and have our things from storage and we are getting things back together again. Thank you all for reading my many venting blog posts. I appreciate you all. Now that in settling in I can have some time to spend writing about my new daily trials and tribulations. Have a wonderful weekend!

Feeling defeated AGAIN!!

Needless to say I am having zero luck finding a place for my family to live. I have looked at some places but am always turned down because of my income not being 3X the rent. The property owners do not take into account any assistance that I may get such as heating and electricity assistance. I guess they just know what the bills are typically for their units and calculate my income and say I will not have money to pay for food or water gas electric bills etc. I’m starting to feel like those on a fixed income that their income SHOULD Be at the very minimum what it costs today to rent a place to live. It’s unrealistic that all people are living on 3X the rent.

I’m going to say that no one is taking notice to this Country bringing in millions of immigrants and giving them ALL OUR RESOURCES and ALL the people who are rightfully here are not able to get help because there’s no funds left because Biden gave it all away to the people who have been coming from other Countries. I have to find a way for Congress to see how awful this Country has become and the lack of help for OUR OWN PEOPLE!! The USA IS FULL! We can’t help out our own citizens so we can’t help those from other countries either. The word truly needs to get out there. We aren’t going to see it or acknowledge it until it’s too late and we bring over all these people and then they are getting money cars and homes and it’s a matter of time before the behaviors they were or are used to from their home Countries comes out and we are being attacked from our backyard by all the people Biden paid to live here free. Seriously people WAKE UP!! THe time is NOW! We need to stop this. We need to get our own people the help they need and stop giving stipends and SS payments to those whom aren’t even born here. And if someone comes here from another country pregnant or is an immigrant and gets pregnant they should not be given status because they don’t belong here isn’t eh first place. I’m all for going through the motions for a Green card but not to come here for free or on the USA funds. Besides that if I am on the streets with my kids then I’m charged with negligence and CPS takes my kids away. Not to mention child endangerment etc but dragging babies and kids across miles and miles of desert without food or water is okay and here’s your STIPEND. NOPE!! This system is broken. We need to wake up and stop this now!! Seriously!! I’m so upset. I can’t get a single thing from any assistance office that I’m considering just going south with kids in tow and saying I’m also an IMMIGRANT SEEKING ASYLUM! I need that help too a home a car and money each month. Really!!

Backwards System

So I am waiting on some help for first and security because I don’t make enough to cover it on my income. Well, I spoke to the assistance office and they say because I can sleep at my Grams house even though I was told I have 30 days but I don’t have an actual eviction notice yet the assistance office wants me to stay until I get a court hearing for an eviction and THEN contact them for help! Idk I explained that’s why I moved from my last home of eight years because my LL (landlord) wanted to sell and gave me a notice to quit and not an eviction because I then couldn’t find a new place that would even consider taking me and my family with an eviction on my record even though I did nothing wrong. Once you have an eviction no perspective landlord would even look twice at my application. They just move on to the next application looking for a tenant that doesn’t have an eviction! Maybe I could find a slumlord but I may not? I don’t understand how they expect people to get into housing in short notice let alone with an eviction on their record?? This system is broken and backwards! Now waiting on a response from the place that is supposed to help I have a landlord holding a place for me and was told this place can take up to three MONTHS to send the money!! Who holds a place for 3 months? Who? Who even wants to wait that long? I just can’t with this insanity! But let’s bring immigrants over and house, feed, clothe, and medically assist them but allow all of the people who live here born here and those who have fought for us all to remain here safely live in tents or under bridges starving!! Let alone medical care!! I just can’t. Someone has to start fighting for people like me as I know there so many struggling people who can’t get a place to live or afford it. I just can’t even believe they demand I get an eviction before helping. I’m appalled by this backwards Country and what they do for us Citizens and what they ARE DOING for immigrants!!! Shame on them!! Vent over. Thanks for taking the time to read my rant… I appreciate it. Sincerely. Ty

It’s been a long week

Where to even begin? I am going to start with… I hope everyone/anyone reading this is doing well. Now to begin the complications I have found myself in. As I have said before I have found myself and my kids in a very difficult situation as we were forced out of our home we lived in for eight years (not due to any fault of my own) as the owner/landlord decided to sell earlier than the ten year mark as he stated would be the end of the lease and either I can buy if he’s ready to sell or renew for ten years. So I wasn’t ready to buy at that moment and I had to move out asap. My grandparents home was/is vacant as they recently passed away and the estate is just up in the air to their six children and I asked if I could stay there until I got into something. Trying to find a place to rent has been challenging, as I don’t make three times the rent in income. Therefore, I had to go to every agency such as housing and section eight to help me get into something. The lists are years out and in most places section eight is closed for years. But when section eight/housing choice voucher does open and if your lucky enough to get on the list- the wait is at min a year or more. I had gone to HUD and many county assistance offices and housing agencies but none can help me and my family. At this point we had gone to a shelter to get on their list if they had one and we were turned away from the shelter since they were full. I am looking every single day for a place to move into but every place is either wanting 3X the rent in income or the application process takes way too long as we need immediate housing. Well with that I received a call from my one Aunt and she flipped out on me because I was not allowed (by the Eletric company) to pay my grandfathers bill and she was turning the power off because he is deceased. She then said I couldn’t put it in my Aunts name because she has to do it herself and she was shutting the power off right now. Needless to say she had me put it in my name so that I wasn’t charging anyone else’s bills and said that the estate has to take care of his bill or I can pay it if I want after they send the final bill. I figured my Aunt would be mad about this but Waldo didn’t want the power off and I certainly don’t mind it being in my name while I’m here. So I went forward with turning the power in my name and my Aunt just got his final bill and she flipped out on me about it. Started saying how I’m not homeless but in the same breath saying how she’s on her way to the magistrates to have me and the kids removed by the sheriff. I should have known that this was going to happen. She then says I’m living rent free and my kids dad didn’t leave me and we are living the great life rent free. I remained her how i already paid the gas bill ($600+) the day I came here and I had to replace all the water lines and had PEX installed because all the pipes in the basement were sprung leaks. The faucets were so old that they couldn’t even be turned anymore as they were rusted solid. I had to replace all those. She then says she will pay me for what I have fixed up here (she will not she is lying and will not like the bill for the stuff up here) and she and my Uncle want the house back so they can sit up here and cry. Mind you I came here and it was alleviating a huge problem for her not having to keep up with the maintenance like grass and so on. Also the bills were now not her problem either. Needless to say she wants me out asap. My sister spoke to her and I have now 30 days to find a place or we will live in my broken van in a parking lot someplace. People are so cruel. I promise when this is all said and done we will have zero communication with them (my Aunt and those wanting my kids and I out) anymore for forcing my family into the streets if we can’t get into a place. That’s only a small portion of my week. I’m so sad that I can’t make this work for my kids mostly because they just want a home and their lives back and I am failing at that. School starts soon and I can’t even register my daughter for kindergarten until I know where we are going to live. I reached out to their old school because HUD told me there’s a law that states if we are homeless that children can attend at their old district. Hoping we don’t have to do that but it’s an option at least. At any rate having to figure this out has been challenging and super eye opening to those people on fixed incomes and disabled. One day when I’m settled I plan to fight for people like me and people who have been through the same stuff as I have in my life. Since so much has happened I am going to end it there and I will write another blog about what is happening to me later as this one is long and a lot to read already. Praying no one else has or had to suffer the same as myself and my family.

Just another brick wall

I’m not feeling too good about finding a place. I’m super upset that the government is giving away money to people to buy homes and then I found out that the man who bought the house we lived in for 8 years that I wanted to buy when my daughters SSD went through was purchased by one of those people who was given stipend money for coming here and bought my house from my old landlord. How can these things even be happening. Here I am disabled and the daughter and of Veterans and the ex wife of a veteran also and the government is throwing money at those people who are not even US citizens. Feel like fighting for our Country and our Freedoms doesn’t pay off but if you come here with nothing but some story to tell you will be handed a house a car and everything needed to live “The American Dream”. I remember when I began college and had to take all the regular classes I had written an essay about living The American Dream and thinking how blessed am I to have been born here in America where Dreams do come true. Ha. What a joke. I guess I’m hurt and feeling abandoned and lost all while not having any place to live with my four children. Their father just left us behind and we couldn’t get assistance from any agency even when we stood at their door crying and begging them to help. But sure enough if we cross the border we would get some help. I wouldn’t be charged with CHILD ABUSE for dragging my kids the long distance to get to the border but we would be given loads of money and more. This country is backwards and treating their own like immigrants and treating the aliens like their own. See where O live CPS would take my kids if I drug them across borders and put them in danger. If we stave or go without water they would charge us with neglecting our kids and then take them away from us. These are facts!! I’m not making none of these things up. I’m just broken, depressed, hurt, angry, and more. I have been trying to seem like all is well for my children as not to make things even harder since their Dr is saying that moving and dad leaving and the instability is affecting the kids pretty harshly so I’m doing what I can to help them stay focused on school coming soon and anything else I can help them see as a positive but I guess as a parent that’s what we are supposed to do even though everything is falling apart around us. May my prayers be heard and God carry us through these hard times. Just left to praying because unless some Pa representative or politician gets involved I am not going to be getting any help from anyone. We will find ourselves on the streets or in a tent because the government only has aid for people not being US citizens. So sad.