Hello again. I am just going to express some of my thoughts and feelings quick because I’m not sure many people understand why it’s so hard to be an adult and do what you have to do with kids and being a single parent. I tried to explain that many people whom have kids have family or friends they can trust and depend on to watch their children. Even if they only have one person that they can count on randomly watching their kids it’s better than no one and not at all. Just going to the store for a few items with the kids is such a hard time and stressful experience. When you hear the expression “It Takes a Village “ it is so true. One of the very reasons I wanted to have a big family is because this way my kids have each-other to help one another. I have one sister but because she lives so far away I can’t just have her sit with the kids while I run to the store or errands. Having all of them and say having to physically take everyone out to go into the pharmacy for three minutes is way too stressful and overwhelming. Or running into the grocery store for milk and bread turns into a whole other thing with kids wanting stuff I can’t afford or running around or fighting with each other or bumping into strangers because they are not paying attention. It’s just a lot. I hear some people complain that their mom or dad or family is to involved in their lives and they hate it I often say or think to myself you have no idea how lucky you are to have that. Think of how hard things would be if you didn’t have that. Most of the time their family that is in their business is only doing it because they care and want what’s best for them. I wish I had that. I wish I could do so many things that just seem way out of reach for me. I feel like by the time I can actually gain some ground in life I will be too old to actually enjoy anything. My credit score has dropped for unknown reasons (maybe because I paid the minimum payment for the last few months?) or because I have had to use them more than normal? Idk but I have to start looking for a new place soon because I can’t stay here much longer so when my lease is up I’m going to have to move out and pray we don’t end up on the street with the economy like it is and now housing being far few and in between because of all the immigration. I’m so worried about everything. I have been on the list for housing choice vouchers in a few different areas but not sure if I’m even going to get that before my lease is up. I could really use some prayers. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I’m sorry if my life often seems like a negative energy I wish it wasn’t that way too. Be safe and stay healthy!
Tag Archives: Anxiety
It’s been a long week
Where to even begin? I am going to start with… I hope everyone/anyone reading this is doing well. Now to begin the complications I have found myself in. As I have said before I have found myself and my kids in a very difficult situation as we were forced out of our home we lived in for eight years (not due to any fault of my own) as the owner/landlord decided to sell earlier than the ten year mark as he stated would be the end of the lease and either I can buy if he’s ready to sell or renew for ten years. So I wasn’t ready to buy at that moment and I had to move out asap. My grandparents home was/is vacant as they recently passed away and the estate is just up in the air to their six children and I asked if I could stay there until I got into something. Trying to find a place to rent has been challenging, as I don’t make three times the rent in income. Therefore, I had to go to every agency such as housing and section eight to help me get into something. The lists are years out and in most places section eight is closed for years. But when section eight/housing choice voucher does open and if your lucky enough to get on the list- the wait is at min a year or more. I had gone to HUD and many county assistance offices and housing agencies but none can help me and my family. At this point we had gone to a shelter to get on their list if they had one and we were turned away from the shelter since they were full. I am looking every single day for a place to move into but every place is either wanting 3X the rent in income or the application process takes way too long as we need immediate housing. Well with that I received a call from my one Aunt and she flipped out on me because I was not allowed (by the Eletric company) to pay my grandfathers bill and she was turning the power off because he is deceased. She then said I couldn’t put it in my Aunts name because she has to do it herself and she was shutting the power off right now. Needless to say she had me put it in my name so that I wasn’t charging anyone else’s bills and said that the estate has to take care of his bill or I can pay it if I want after they send the final bill. I figured my Aunt would be mad about this but Waldo didn’t want the power off and I certainly don’t mind it being in my name while I’m here. So I went forward with turning the power in my name and my Aunt just got his final bill and she flipped out on me about it. Started saying how I’m not homeless but in the same breath saying how she’s on her way to the magistrates to have me and the kids removed by the sheriff. I should have known that this was going to happen. She then says I’m living rent free and my kids dad didn’t leave me and we are living the great life rent free. I remained her how i already paid the gas bill ($600+) the day I came here and I had to replace all the water lines and had PEX installed because all the pipes in the basement were sprung leaks. The faucets were so old that they couldn’t even be turned anymore as they were rusted solid. I had to replace all those. She then says she will pay me for what I have fixed up here (she will not she is lying and will not like the bill for the stuff up here) and she and my Uncle want the house back so they can sit up here and cry. Mind you I came here and it was alleviating a huge problem for her not having to keep up with the maintenance like grass and so on. Also the bills were now not her problem either. Needless to say she wants me out asap. My sister spoke to her and I have now 30 days to find a place or we will live in my broken van in a parking lot someplace. People are so cruel. I promise when this is all said and done we will have zero communication with them (my Aunt and those wanting my kids and I out) anymore for forcing my family into the streets if we can’t get into a place. That’s only a small portion of my week. I’m so sad that I can’t make this work for my kids mostly because they just want a home and their lives back and I am failing at that. School starts soon and I can’t even register my daughter for kindergarten until I know where we are going to live. I reached out to their old school because HUD told me there’s a law that states if we are homeless that children can attend at their old district. Hoping we don’t have to do that but it’s an option at least. At any rate having to figure this out has been challenging and super eye opening to those people on fixed incomes and disabled. One day when I’m settled I plan to fight for people like me and people who have been through the same stuff as I have in my life. Since so much has happened I am going to end it there and I will write another blog about what is happening to me later as this one is long and a lot to read already. Praying no one else has or had to suffer the same as myself and my family.
Immigrants getting MONEY & STIPENDS
Immigrants are getting $1800 a month per Adult and $900 a month per CHILD ALSO GETTING A STIPEND TO BUY A VEHICLE AND A HOUSE OR PAY THEIR RENT FOR TEN YEARS. They get food stamps and medical and dental and all kinds of stuff but here I am a Army Brat as BOTH my parents were in the Army and I was born at an Army Medical Center I’m also divorced from a Service member and I am ACTUALLY HOMELESS AND CANT GET ANY HELP!!! I have reached out to 211, UNITED WAY, CEO, National Helpline for Veterans and their Families, Red Cross, HUD, DHS, Assistance Office, Housing, and more and was even turned away from a shelter with my 4 kids! This is the CRAZY PRESIDENT AND CRAZY COUNTRY WE LIVE IN!! If I spoke Spanish I would 100% cross the border and come back over a whole new nobody and have my hand out too. Here I am can’t even get ANY HELP AT ALL! I have multiple places working for me to find shelter/housing and I’m out of luck!! I have 4 KIDS!!! What’s wrong with this Country?? Why can’t I get a place but basically Aliens can get into a place and get all kinds of perks!! I’m really at the end of my rope and I feel like how much more can I possibly take??? What else is going to happen to me/us? How do I get the same as they are getting?? Someone has to know a way for my family to get help even if we HAVE TO TRAVEL AND MOVE We just need a home to call our own to offer routine and stability to my kids. Any advice is welcomed.
Trying to keep it all together
Good morning. Well it could certainly be a good one for many people but not so much for me. But I guess it’s just one of those things we say even when things aren’t so good. Anywho, last night was a night to remember. My EX (kids father) came to get his truck and trailer from my Grams property and he seen three of the four kids (the oldest ones as the baby was asleep already) and of course he tells them how he has a two bedroom apartment and that’s where he lives now etc. This created some confusion and trauma for the kids who are already in a delicate and stressful situation since I did speak to my two kid’s Psychiatrist who specifically said that if we split up now during this situation we are in it can cause damage to them. I understood because they had lived at the same house all their lives and they have had their parents together all their lives and their personal belongings (now in storage) and of course the cat (which I have to send away). The Dr explained that under the stress they are showing signs of regression (peeing their pants etc) and to add unnecessary stress to their little minds and hearts would be not a good time to split up. I had told him (Dad) this after speaking to him on the phone after the meeting between the psychiatrist and I, and without regard for their psyche he up and left anyways. Funny thing is that when we left our home to come to my grams he said on the way here “we wouldn’t have had no place to go because I have a 2bedroom on standby”. Well I told my family he said that because he had this 2 bedroom apartment but he forced me to figure out where we were going to live until we got into what we ultimately wanted which was to move South so I could be closer to my sister for help with the kids. My family told me yes he has an apartment on standby for himself because he refuses to be responsible and pay for his children and their needs. He is going to Grams with you because it’s free and sure enough when I told him we have a date to go by he told me he was not coming with me and going to his apartment on standby. I have all four kids with me 24/7 so finding a place to go is not easy and applying for places to rent is not easy either since I can’t even write to fill out applications because they are just stressed and they begin arguing or fighting or running around etc. I am still going to apply at places even though my kids are a handful during this period. I believe that this is all a direct response to the pandemic. I believe my old landlord had to sell because of money problems because of the pandemic and we were just in the line of fire so to speak. Needless to say I don’t really have much of an update on life other than it certainly can get worse and I have learned not to say that anymore. I’m hurt, stressed, and frustrated with this whole situation but because I need to fix this for my children I am holding it together and I will release all the pain when we are settled someplace with all their belongings and they are content and happy and have their routines and stability the way we are used to. May God have mercy on me and my babies! Praying
Introduction
Hello! My name is Adriana. I would like to Thank You for visiting my site and reading my thoughts and life stories and I hope that my experiences and circumstances will help you and others feel you/they are certainly not alone. I often think the things that happen to me, as often as they happen, couldn’t possibly happen to others but I have found that my experiences are not as uncommon or unusual as I once believed. I am a mother to six children two of whom are teenagers and I will not mention. I will often speak of my youngest four children who are ages 8, 6, 4 & 2. Out of the four my oldest and youngest are boys and both middle children are girls. Two of my children have ADHD and ODD (my 8 year old son and my 4 year old daughter). Being a mother is certainly a blessing! But with that being said at times it can be so difficult to just manage the day to day. The days begin very early and seem to feel like they are so long even though I know that this will one day all be a fleeting memory of when my kids were small. I do my best to try and appreciate these days since I know they don’t last forever. Trying to balance everything often feels like I’m treading water against the tide and getting absolutely nowhere. I will certainly be discussing the difficulties of having children with ADHD and ODD, homelessness, depression, anxiety, loss, and the struggles of advocating for yourself and your children and really just trying to navigate the world with them and for them. That’s to come later on as time moves forward. I am happy to have you here as I share my trials, tribulations and life with the world.
